Employee #1: So, if it’s 7:11 now, and I have a 30 minute break, what time do I have to be back?
Employee #2: Uh, 7:41.
Employee #1: How did you figure that out so fast?
Huron Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Employee #1: So, if it’s 7:11 now, and I have a 30 minute break, what time do I have to be back?
Employee #2: Uh, 7:41.
Employee #1: How did you figure that out so fast?
Huron Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Marketing director: Eighty percent of what we do is called ‘wasting time.’
Massachusetts Avenue NE
Washington, DC
Staff: You have a second?
IT: Nope, completely out of stock on those.
200 Front Street W
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Secretary: I could swear that I read that if you have a death in the family you automatically get two days off.
Nurse: Well, I looked it up in the protocol. You can have days off, but they’re just regular PTO.
Secretary: Right, I know they’re PTO, but I swear I read that they’re automatic if you have a death in the family.
Nurse: No, it’s like any other PTO, you have to have them approved by your supervisor.
Secretary: I swear I read that you get those days off for a family death.
Nurse: Well, I’m sure every supervisor would be happy to quickly approve your PTO if someone dies.
Secretary: Yeah, but I swear I read somewhere that you get two days automatically for that.
Nurse: Please, tell me one more time about how you read that somewhere.
Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Female coworker #1: I've worked here six years and don't really know you that well yet.
Female coworker #2: Ya know, I was the first one hired from off the street…
Cubicle dweller, mumbling under breath: That explains a lot!
Law Office
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Blonde at Heart
Law student #1: I can’t believe the parents in that case named their kid Adolph!
Law student #2: Uh… That case was from 1850…
Law student #1: So?
699 Exposition Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: TAJ
CSR on phone: No ma'am… If I was out trying to bang my dick in a bar I wouldn't take the time to call you back.
Atlanta, Georgia
Dude: Are you looking at pictures of naked women again?
Man: What kind of stupid question is that?
Dude: Yeah, sorry.
Man: Why don’t you ask me what I’m breathing? ‘Breathing some air there, huh? Boy, you sure do like your air.’
Dude: Yeah, I know, sorry. Hey — that one’s pretty.
Man: Tell me about it.
Starbucks
New York, New York
Cube rat: Hell, we were finding underwear on top of the refrigerator for two weeks.
400 N 5th Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: AndyDan
Suit: It’s been a big thing. I’ve sent a bunch of emails about it.
Boss: Yeah, I’ve ignored them. Sorry.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: It’s not my project
