Worker #1: Hi, Sally*, my ID has expired. How can I get it renewed?
Worker #2: I suppose the other people on our team will also be expiring soon, too. Do we need to address them now, or should we wait ’til they actually expire also?
55 East Hartland Street
East Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Linda BoBinda
Federal employee to coworker in ladies’ room: Darlene, how long is a dog pregnant?
L’Enfant Plaza
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Just a contractor
Reporter to another on deadline day: Hey, you wanna go kick each other in the balls and forget it’s Thursday?
81st Street and Harvard Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: I don’t have balls, but I know the feeling
Boss: So then you and Josh will need to mate together the two documents that you’re sending to customers, and include a note explaining why.
Co-worker: Sounds good. Starting in October, [Nathan] and I will send letters to inform all of our customers about our mating.
9630 S. Norwalk Boulevard
Santa Fe Springs, California
Overheard by: Josh
Broker: I’m going to grab some lunch; if my wife calls, tell her I’m not going down tonight. She’ll just have to wait until tomorrow.
250 West Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Guy behind counter on cell: So I’ll be there soon….What’s that sound?….Oh, yeah! I thought I heard a tornado in the background!
Hall’s Archery Range
Manchester, England
Bar patron #1: You gonna have another drink?
Bar patron #2: No, I gotta get home before mid-life.
36th Avenue and Arctic Boulevard
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: thinking it was already too late
Male coworker to female coworker: So, did you have the diarrhea before lunch or after lunch?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Joel
Woman: Hand me one of those magazines.
Man: Gourmet?
Woman: No.
Man: Newsweek?
Woman: No.
Man: Time?
Woman: No. [Looks at kids’ table.] What about that table over there?
Man: Well, there’s Highlights…
Woman: Okay, grab those. [Begins working on puzzles.] What’s hollow — a lute, a sponge, or a jar?
Man: Lute.
Woman: No, sponge.
Man: You can’t see through a sponge.
Teen nearby: Can’t see through a wall, either, and it’s hollow.
Man: True. Got a point there. Must be a sponge.
Woman: Okay, it’s a sponge.
Waiting area, Forensic and Mental Health Services
Hamilton, Ohio
Overheard by: Kim
Lowly assistant: We are supposed to have our monthly, quarterly, and annual goals prepared for Tuesday’s meeting.
Lawyer: Really? Tell the office manager to send me everyone else’s goals.
Office manager: I probably won’t have them before the meeting.
Lawyer: But I don’t know what my goals are.
1500 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: It’s Comcastic
