That's Exactly What She Said

Male work-study student: I was gonna give a dozen roses to this girl I liked, but I decided not to. Do you want them?
Female full-time professional: If anyone's gonna give me 12 of anything it's gonna be inches.

University
El Paso, Texas

Posted on August 18, 2008
Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Employees, Feelings, Offers and requests, Sexuality, Students, Texas, Wishes

I Kinda Like the Amputee Idea Better

Clueless dude: Did you hear that Stump is coming to town?
Chick with a clue: What is that, the amputee review?
(pause)
Chick with a clue: You meant “Stomp”, didn't you?

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Ikeed Unaught

Posted on August 11, 2008
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Questions, Texas, Words

Bon Voyage

Customer service rep #1: I am soooo excited! I'm going to get my nails done as soon as I get off work. I am going to look so good for my trip this weekend!
Customer service rep #2: Wow, where are you going?
Customer service rep #1 (excitedly): Across the street!

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Vicky

Posted on August 5, 2008
Body Parts, Coworkers, Customer Service, Customer Support, Default, Feelings, Questions, Texas, Travel, Weirdness

Besides, No One Should Commit Career Suicide Alone

Retail employee #1: I’m gonna have to leave early today, my friend and I are going to go and get the Wii.
Retail employee #2: Oooh, the weed? I want some!

Stonebriar Mall
Frisco, Texas

Posted on July 28, 2008
Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Retail, Substance Use & Abuse, Technology, Texas, Wishes, Words

Let Me Be Blunt About That

Manager (after finding a flyer advertising “weed for sale” on his windshield): At first I was pissed, because they came to my home and put it on my car. But then I was like: “Really? There’s no way I’m paying that much for an eighth!”

Texas

Posted on July 24, 2008
Anger management, Default, Employees, Money, Substance Use & Abuse, Texas

Tonight’s Movie: What’s Elephant Got to Do With It?

Receptionist on phone: Did you finish it? What did it say? What do elephants have to do with anything?

Texas A&M University
College Station, Texas

Overheard by: Faith

Posted on July 15, 2008
Animals, Default, Education, On the phone, Questions, Receptionists, Texas

The New Gold Standard

Intern: I was like: “Who do you think you are?! You had like two lines in Hanna Montana! You are not Zac Efron, okay?”

Constitution Drive
Victoria, Texas

Overheard by: Diana

Posted on July 8, 2008
Compare and contrast, Default, Interns & Temps, Questions, Texas, TV

There’s a Reason There Are “Naughty Nurse” Halloween Costumes

[Nurse #1 attempting to restrain combative patient in a dark room.]Nurse #2: You ah… Want me to turn the lights on?
Nurse #1: No, I tie people up in the dark all the time.

University Hospital
San Antonio, Texas

Posted on June 18, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Medical, Nurses, Offers and requests, Questions, Texas, Weirdness

Very Slowly

Boss on phone: Excuse me? I’m sorry, I don’t speak stupid, let me get one of my employees to speak to you.

Coppell, Texas

Overheard by: Luckily, it wasn’t me.

Posted on June 5, 2008
Default, Insults, Language barrier, Offers and requests, On the phone, Smart Bosses, Texas

Look, a String of Colored Paper!

Coworker: With as much time as we spend pulling stuff out of our ass around here, it’s amazing they even give us chairs.

Fort Worth, Texas

Posted on May 29, 2008
Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Texas, Time Management