My What, Now?

Ghetto IT guy: It took me mad long to dig my car out. It was frozen in. I had to use one of the ice chopping things. I was going to town, it looked like I was cutting a huge pile of coke. I was slicing in rows up the whole thing.
IT girl: Ummm… Did you get your car out?

Madison Avenue
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Pepsi please

Posted on February 23, 2015
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, New York, Questions, Substance Use & Abuse, Tech People

She Minored in the Snorting Arts

Nurse: I graduated with marijuana honors. I had one rolled under my cap and gown.

Edison, New Jersey

Posted on February 21, 2015
Clothes, Education, New Jersey, Nurses, Substance Use & Abuse

This Is the End, My Only Friend, the End

Female cube dweller, to no one in particular: The grapes in the cafeteria are going soft on me.

Washington, DC

Posted on February 20, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington DC

1PM Lunch with “Client”

Woman with shoes: But…you’re totally drunk.
Woman without shoes: I so want to get fired today.

633 3rd Avenue
New York, NY

Posted on February 17, 2015
Coworkers, Hiring & Firing, New York, Substance Use & Abuse

He Gets Smarter When He Drinks

Frat boy: Gimme something like a whiskey sour but dont put Jack Daniels or anything like that in it. I dont like whiskey!
Bartender: Well what you want in it instead of whiskey?
Frat boy: Use Jim Beam, I fucking love Jim Beam!

Evolution Nightclub
Athens, Ohio

Overheard by: Melvin

Posted on February 11, 2015
Blue Collar, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Offers and requests, Ohio, Substance Use & Abuse

You Should Hear His Rendition Of “Mary Jane Had a Little Lamb”

Four-year-old child, singing: This is the way we roll a joint, roll a joint, roll a joint. This is the way we roll a joint so early in the morning!

Kindergarten
Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Natalie

Posted on February 11, 2015
Kids, Ohio, Substance Use & Abuse, Weirdness

At Camp Marion Barry

Military personnel: Adam* looks like hell this morning — like he was smoking crack all night. Adam, you are a civilian, right?
Adam: Yes.
Military personnel: Ah, then it’s alright. You don’t get drug-tested like us. Smoke all the crack you want.

Washington, DC

Posted on February 7, 2015
Coworkers, Government, Questions, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington DC

We Just Don’t Have Enough Slavepower

Lady: Uhh, hi, do you sell cigarettes?
Cashier: No, this is a plant nursery.
Lady: Yeah, I know. So you don’t have them?
Cashier: No, ma’am, this is a plant nursery. We sell plants here.
Lady: But cigarettes come from tobacco, and that’s a plant. I figured if anyone would sell them it would be you.

6831 Central Avenue
St. Petersburg, Florida