Student: Ooooh, grape juice! I love drinking grape juice. It makes me feel like Jesus.
Eastern Kentucky University Dining Commons
Richmond, Kentucky
Student: Ooooh, grape juice! I love drinking grape juice. It makes me feel like Jesus.
Eastern Kentucky University Dining Commons
Richmond, Kentucky
Student on phone: Sir, as a current student at XYZ College*, I know I can talk to you about all the improvements that we’ve made since you attended…. Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. No… No, I didn’t realize you hated XYZ. I will be sure to tell him that… Repeat after you? Sir, please… I promise I’ll tell him… Okay, sir, I’ll tell him that you said that everyone at this school can fuck themselves and suck your 70-year-old balls… Thank you. You have a good night, too, sir.
515 Loudon Road
Loudonville, New York
Overheard by: trying not to laugh while on the phone
College student: So, if you stab someone and then stand there and watch them bleed to death, are you killing them or letting them die?
Logic professor: Well, I guess you would accomplish both.
Middle Tennessee State University
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
First-grade teacher: CHARLES! Give me those! Those are NAILS! Nails are unsafe and do not belong in your hands.
Student: Pshhh, unless you’re JESUS!
New York, New York
Overheard by: i want to adopt this kid
Teacher: If you wish to have a discussion, raise your hand and I will call on you if you are worthy enough.
Student: I love you?
140 Brandies Road
Newton, Massachusetts
Spanish teacher, in Spanish: Margarita, what are you doing today?
Margarita: [Mutters something in Spanish.]Student: Did you just say, ‘I’m planning to attend the party where it is raining babies’?
Margarita: Baby shower. I’m going to a baby shower!
Community college
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: oh my
Girl, about overhead projection image: Any way you can make that bigger?
Whole class: That's what she said!
University
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: like, for real?
Little boy looking at stuffed animal: Look, Mommy, it’s the monkey that comes out of your butt!
Mother: Yes, it’s the monkey that flies out of your ass. That’s why we’re not going back to Chuck E. Cheese’s.
Learning Express
Exton, Pennsylvania
Girl student to friend: If we can't operate an elevator here, how are we going to operate an elevator in another country?
Loyola University
Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki C.
