Physician: What can you tell me about this X-ray?
Student: It’s a male pelvis with two fractures.
Physician: It’s shaped like a male pelvis, but it’s not.
Student: How can you tell?
Physician: The lack of a penis outline on the X-ray helps.
Emergency Room, University of Kansas Hospital
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: Stifling the Laugh
Teacher: Can you tell me what states I might find on the West coast of the United States?
Student: The big one on the bottom. Mexico is part of the United States.
Teacher: No, that is wrong. Mexico is a country, try again.
Student: Look, my parents live here and they said we’re American and they came from Mexico. It’s part of the United States.
Teacher: I am telling you, you are wrong. Mexico is a country — it has its own government.
Student: Look, if it was its own country then why is everyone just walking over here? That’s what I did and I’m still here.
Another student pulls out cell: Not for long.
School, Desert Marigold Lane
Las Vegas, Nevada
Collegiate on cell: Hey, Mom, you’ll be proud of me — I actually bought books at Borders — to read!
Barnes & Noble, Center City
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: book stacker
Teacher: Can you say, ‘Open the door’ in Spanish?
Preschooler: Open the door in Spanish.
Learning center
Bloomington, Indiana
Librarian: Jeans, brain and behavior?
Student: Uh, genes with a G.
Librarian: Like this? Gene’s brain and behavior?
Student: There’s no apostrophe.
Librarian: I’m not getting any results.
Student: Well, I’m pretty sure it’s officially spelled with an ampersand.
Librarian: A what?
Addlestone Library
Charleston, South Carolina
Thin male college student: I’m hungry all the time. I must be a fatty–that’s the only reasonable explanation, I think.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Student: Mrs. Smith*, do you have any kids?
Mrs. Smith: No, I don’t have children.
Student: Did somebody steal them?
1212 Cheyenne Boulevard
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Sheri
Boy piano student #1, pencil poised under buttocks: Dare me to sit on this?
Boy piano student #2: You’ll hurt your testicles.
Girl piano student: Guess what? Dr. Evil’s dad made him shave his testicles!
Boy piano student #2: But testicles don’t grow hair.
Piano studio
Florida
Grad student: I’m just incapable of mounting anything remotely straight.
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
