Grad student: A few months ago she said it was national bring-your-bunny-to-work day– which I'm pretty sure she made up…so when I walked by her cube she had the bunny in a makeshift fort between her purse and some binders. And the next time I walked by, eight members of the senior staff were sitting in a circle on the floor playing with the bunny in the middle.
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Intern
Student employee: A girl lost her feet on a roller coaster at Six Flags.
Employee: At least she didn't lose her pants.
Towson, Maryland
Student #1: I had a real question! I really wanted to know the answer, and he acted like it was a joke.
Student #2: So. what was the question?
Student #1: How does a blind person know when they’re done wiping?
Student #2: … What, there’s no punch line?
Student #1: That’s what my teacher asked, but I really want to know the answer — it’s a valid question!
Student #2: Well, I’ll ask my uncle next time I see him.
Elevator, Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois
Girl #1: He is so shallow!
Girl #2: Not at all, why would you say that?
Girl #1: ‘Cause he’s attracted to you.
3535 Monroe Drive
South Bay, California
Training instructor: You should not upgrade the software right when a patch comes out. Sometimes it may have bugs.
Student: So, it’s like when you take a drug, sometimes it can have side effects like—
Training instructor: Yeah, but let’s keep the discussion focused on software.
Student: —Throwing up, vomiting…
Training instructor: Uh, yeah.
Madison, Alabama
Girl #1: Ummm, we need to make copies, and we don’t want to spend a lot of money.
Student worker: The copier over there is 10 cents, same as everywhere on campus.
Girl #1: That’s so expensive!
Student worker: You could also scan the papers and print them out. That’s free.
Girl #1: What do you mean?
Student worker: Ummm, you can put them on the scanner, hit ‘Scan,’ and then when they pop up, hit ‘Print.’
Girl #1: I don’t know about this whole scanning thing — it sounds really complicated.
Girl #2: But that sounds better than making copies. I mean, we only need 12, and I don’t want to spend 12 dollars.
Campus library, Bemidji State University
Bemidji, Minnesota
Mom to daughter: All that matters is that the dog is dead.
Stop & Shop
Richmond, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Scratch
14-year-old girl: Hi, I need a 36 double-D bra with no underwire and no padding.
11-year-old brother: Yeah! No padding!
Redneck dad: Son… Are you fixin’ to buy one of them things for yourself?
Victoria’s Secret, Apple Blossom Mall
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: Joanna
Student #1: Do you have a learning disability or something?
Student #2: Yeah. I’m ADD.
Student #1: Oh.
Student #2: Just kidding! I’m just stupid.
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada
Overheard by: Going to class
Female student: Where are you from?
Male student: Milwaukee.
Female student: Oh, you know, I always forget Milwaukee is a state.
Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennessee
