Coworker #1: You know, shoot them with shotguns, like with tranquilizers.
Coworker #2: Bang! Bang! (makes shotgun motions)
Coworker #3: That's how the doctor put in my IUD.
Omaha, Nebraska
Coworker #1: You know, shoot them with shotguns, like with tranquilizers.
Coworker #2: Bang! Bang! (makes shotgun motions)
Coworker #3: That's how the doctor put in my IUD.
Omaha, Nebraska
Male sales manager to female coworker: Yes, I've taken the “Sexual harassment and workplace violence” classes, and I can do both!
Waterloo, Iowa
Employee: OH, SOMEONE TOOK A PICTURE OF THE COCK AGAIN!… Only it doesn’t have sunglasses anymore.
101 Hillpointe Drive
Canonsburg, Pennsylvania
Coworker, musing: I wonder what a black gay Mormon would sound like.
Government Office
Washington, DC
Manager, regarding cellphone contract: We did you, then we called back and did your wife. I'm sorry. We upgraded your wife. Wife 2.0, that's right. Please don't tell her I said that.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Meg
Coworker: The customer wearing the dark suit in the gallery is transgendered. Just a heads-up so you're not startled.
Toronto
Canadia
Woman testing cologne to daughter: Oh, no, if I go home smelling like a man, dad will know what I've been doing.
Roosevelt Field Mall
East Garden City, New York
Overheard by: T-Dizzle
Chelsea's* boss, pointing to a 3-foot tall box: So Chelsea*, want some condoms?
Chelsea*, indignant: I don't need any!
(client laughs)
Boss: Chelsea*! Not you! For the clients!
Chelsea*: Oh sure! For the clients, yeah.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Young naive office girl: Oh look! We're all here for lunch! It's time for some good company bondage time.
Man: That's “bonding” time.
Girl: Nope. “Bondage!”
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Brandon Davis
Overly happy admin on phone, on administrative professional's day: Amanda made me cookies! (pause) I know! I want them to feel free to worship me whenever they want! Bowing is optional!
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: and when exactly is computer monkey day?
