Manager to customer: Well, sir, you've caught me with my pants down!
Two peons passing by (simultaneously): Ewww!
Plymouth, Michigan
Girl to friend: You don't have to use something as depressing as a rape crisis. You know, you can do like… battered women, girl power!
Portland, Maine
40-something owner: I was working with my horse this weekend but he was being difficult. He was acting like a faggot!
Gay employee: Excuse me! I find that extremely offensive!
40-something owner: Well, you know what I mean. “Faggot” is what my friends and I used to call each other when we were kids.
Southern California
Overheard by: Could have been anybody…
20-something girl: Alright, I need to go get Knocked Up…you all know I mean the movie, right? And not, not me getting…screw it, I'm getting Knocked Up. See you later!
Sand Lake Commons
Orlando, Florida
Male suit: Meetings are like suction cups. They stick to things and leave a lasting mark that's tough to clean off. They can be useful in some instances, though they almost always suck, and when they don't suck people try and make them suck in a different location.
Underling: You forgot to add, though, that when they aren't working right, you can always start licking to see it that helps. A little moisture always makes things more interesting.
Central Point, Oregon
Overheard by: Turbo
Cosmetics dept. drone: This spider snuck up on me, so all of a sudden I stopped servicing my customer.
Rockford, Illinois
Boss: He has a bit of a shiny face, though. In my experience, ones with a shiny face are all pillow biters.
Office
Frankston
Australia
Overheard by: Receptionist
Manager: Look at this, this lady put “dictaphone” under skills on their resume.
Worker: What? A dickaphone? Was she a phone sex operator?
1402 Harborside Drive
Galveston, Texas
Overheard by: ladyinthemidst
IT guy: I'm not sure how we can figure out what happened.
IT manager: Well, I guess the only thing you can do is grab the batch.
IT secretary, eavesdropping: I think I got in trouble for that in high school.
IT manager: For what?
IT secretary: For grabbing a batch.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: i'm sure she did
Girl: Why are you in customer service if you don't want to service the customer?
Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennesee
Overheard by: AlsoWondering
