Female coworker #1: Do you want half of my bagel?
Female coworker #2: Sure, thanks.
Female coworker #1: Okay, you can have the top.
Female coworker #2: Yay! I really like the top.
Female coworker #1: That's good. I really like the bottom.
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: cizzle
Flustered bailiff: Ok, I sound a little obsessed with this woman I have zero connection to other than she had sex with the delivery guy my married co-worker has a crush on, but seriously, what a whore.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Administration
Office guy, yelling to another office: Hey, whatcha doin' in there?
Naïve girl: Putting my computer together.
Office guy: Are you on the floor?
Naïve girl: Yeah, why?
Office guy: On your knees? (starts laughing)
High Point, North Carolina
Girl: Stop playing with my bush.
Guy: I'm not playing with it, I'm moving it out of the way.
Girl: Well, don't come in here if you have to move it.
Guy: I can't stay out here and get what I want without coming in, and the bush is in my way.
Woodbridge, Virginia
Overheard by: Mel
Office drone to receptionist: Debbie asked me to make sure her wieners didn't get too hot, and that meant I had to touch them!
Denver, Colorado
Colleague, chatting up receptionist on Monday morning: Me and the water polo boys can be a pretty rough crowd when we want to be.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Nathan
Woman carrying heavy files: I need to go down to the branch and drop this off.
Man: Hello–I can help you carry that.
Woman: Aww! You had me at “hello”!
Man: You had me at “go down”!
Melville, New York
Employee on the phone: No, it's just… Well, it's a hermathodite (pause) No! The form, not me.
Ontario
Canadia
Drone #1: Christ! I need to play the lottery.
Drone #2: Why, how much is it?
Drone #1: 250 million. If I win I'm flipping the bird to this place and you and I are gonna go hit Vegas. I'm gonna die balls deep in some hot stripper.
Drone #2: A female one right?
Drone #1: At 250 million, it won't matter.
Broadway & 42nd
New York City, New York
Female sales rep #1: So I don't like that kind too much.
Female sales rep #2: You like yours to be a little harder, like more firm?
Female sales rep #1: Yeah, but not too hard, I need to be able to pull the skin back and get to the good part.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
