Cube dweller #1: I have people all up inside me all the time, and they're just bound to come out sooner or later.
Cube dweller #2: I do too: that's why I write.
Cube dweller #1: I think we're talking about two different things here.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/304860221/are-we.html
Overheard by: I love a good office gangbang as much as the next guy.
Young wife to husband: You know the guy across the street, Jose*? I think he's gay.
Husband: I don't think he's gay, I think he's just Hispanic.
Belleview, Florida
Overheard by: He married into the family, I swear
Female coworker: I do anything that comes in my box.
Merrimack, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Stefanie G.
Tech support girl: So, what should I tell them? They say their internet is slow.
Tech support supervisor: Tell them to suck my big brown dick.
Ontario
Canadia
Co-worker #1: Not only am I supposed to be meeting this hot guy at the bar tonight, but we’re celebrating [Darren] passing his bar exam! It’s going to be wild.
Co-worker #2: Well, if you’re smiling tomorrow morning we’ll know how it all went.
Co-worker #1: Hell, if the night goes as expected, I won’t even be walking straight tomorrow morning.
1218 Webster Avenue
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Office Slave
Legal assistant #1: Do you know Andy Samberg?
Legal assistant #2: Yes.
Legal assistant #1: What was his other song? Not “I'm on a boat”…
Legal assistant #2: “Jizz in my pants”?
Legal assistant #1: Oh, I thought it was “jizz on my face”. Wait… Am I on speakerphone?
Legal assistant #2: Yes.
(office erupts in laughter)
Irvine, California
Overheard by: Legal Amusement
Biotech girl #1: I really need to make my paper more sexy, so any comments you have will help.
Biotech girl #2: But I'm not a sexy person, I don't know how much help I'll be.
Biotech girl #1: Oh no, you're a very sexy person! You've written for tons of sexy journals.
Carl Icahn Laboratory
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: FileTransferer
Male office worker #1, referring to college basketball brackets: Well, we're also giving $10 back to the person with the worst bracket.
Male office worker #2: That's bullshit! I should get something.
Female office worker: Wait, I deserve my money because I suck better than the rest of you!
Congressional Office
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Intern trying not to make a comment
Male staffer: There may be a problem.
Female manager: With what?
Male staffer: I was just typing an e-mail about a birth certificate. Twice I typed “bitch” instead of “birth”.
Female manager: Oooh!
Male staffer: I corrected it before I sent it, though.
Female manager: Thank goodness. (pause) Gotta say, though, that I would love to have a bitch certificate. I mean, I do just fine without one, but it would be nice to have the formal recognition.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Michael
Guy engineer #1: Hey, want a muffin?
Guy engineer #2: Dude, you’re my muffin.
Guy engineer #1, in small voice: I feel uncomfortable now.
E. County Road
Wellington, Colorado
