Lazy-ass secretary to super lazy-ass secretary: So, we were making love and right there, my period started. He said: “I don't mind, I like it when you bleed.”
Mexico City
Mexico
Lazy-ass secretary to super lazy-ass secretary: So, we were making love and right there, my period started. He said: “I don't mind, I like it when you bleed.”
Mexico City
Mexico
Male coworker: Do you have any hot girlfriends?
Female coworker: Why?
Male coworker: I need a date to the Christmas party. She needs to be hot, so that I can make all the other guys jealous. Conservative hicks.
Female coworker: Passive aggressive, much? And no, I won't submit my friends to you evil desires.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Female Peon
Woman (after manager jokingly pats her on the back): Hey, don’t be coming in here hitting me!
Manager: No, no, I wouldn’t do that. I haven’t hit a woman in a long time. You know when the last time I hit a woman was? It was my ex-wife, and it was goooooood. I spent two days in jail, but it was worth it. It was soooo worth it. They had to wire her jaw shut. Six weeks. Six weeks of silence.
Woman: That’s nice, but could you leave now, please?”
Wilmington, North Carolina
(coworker #1 launches stress ball at coworker #2)
Coworker #2: Good thing you throw like a girl.
Coworker #1: Ya know, you're like the opposite of United Way: you bring out the worst in me.
Coworker #1: I'm pretty sure that's not their motto.
Coworker #2: I'm pretty sure you're still fucking annoying. (waits a moment) Yep.
East Midtown
New York City, New York
Overheard by: The Temp
Middle-aged birthday girl to office who threw her a party she specifically asked not to have: I like my birthday, it's just that I prefer to spend it with close friends… and people.
Washington, DC
Coworker #1 to 20-something coworker: I will boss you. I'm old enough to be your mother, and I will boss you.
Coworker #2, joining in: And I'm old enough to be your grandmother.
Coworker #1: And we will box your ears together.
(a few minutes later)
Coworker #1: Someday you're going to get married, so you might as well get used to being bossed around.
West Lafayette, Indiana
Overheard by: Rachel S.
Gay coworker, walking past office: I love making the girls giggle.
Chicago, Illinois
Boss: Sorry, I didn't recognize you.
Potential client: It's okay, my girlfriend is blind.
Boss: Your girlfriend is blind? Like Stevie Wonder blind?
Potential client: Yes, like Stevie Wonder blind.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Aimee
Male interviewer: So where are you from?
Female applicant: I’m from here, but all my family is from Vietnam.
Male interviewer: Yeah? My ex-wife is from Vietnam. Ever since that war over there, I haven’t really been a fan of wars, ya know?
Doc Green’s, Cumberland Boulevard
Atlanta, Georgia
Hotel Manager: Can we help you, ma’am?
Guest: My husband just got on the elevator without me, I can’t believe that little shit/
Hotel Manager: Well, if we track him down we can send him your way.
Guest: If I can’t keep track of him after 30 years you won’t either.
9 East Wilson Street
Madison, Wisconsin
