Clerk #1: My nephew is getting married, and his mother is not happy.
Clerk #2: Why’s that?
Clerk #1: Well she is Mexican, Italian or maybe from India. I don’t know. They just don’t like her. He’s really intelligent, but they’re worried about him quitting college now.

1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: unbelievable

Gay coworker to straight coworker: Hey, look, it's my work husband–love you!

Columbia, Pennsylvania

Office manager, calling out to boss: Do I have to take the diversity training if I am married to a black guy?

Viking Drive
Eden Prarie, Minnesota

Overheard by: I wouldn’t think so

Young male coworker to another: You are the only cat I wanna pet.

Raleigh, North Carolina

Male staff member: Yeah, but knowing my luck, it'll happen again when I'm not here!
Female staff member: It's okay. You're married now. You'll get lucky one day!


Coworker to another: Sometimes my wheels spin around the wrong angle and then they jab at you.

Seattle, Washington

Suit to intern: Why don't you have your boyfriend dig you out?

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Office girl to cube mates: I didn't talk to my fiance at all last night, he was harvesting organs. Apparently they just go in and start yanking like five minutes after somebody dies. Okay, well, now I'm going to go buy him a gun.

St Louis, Missouri

Engineer to secretary: I don't want to be accused of misplacing nine years of your life!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: 812

Woman #1: Hey! Look at you! I didn’t know you were back from maternity leave.
Woman #2: Yeah, I just came back yesterday.
Woman #1: I saw the pictures you emailed. She’s adorable. I remember you were worried about labor. How’d it go?
Woman #2: Not too bad, actually. Kind of what I expected. Although I punched my husband and threatened divorce during the worst of it.
Woman #1: Are you serious? What did he do?
Woman #2: Right when my contractions were about two minutes apart, he got nervous and attempted to distract me. So he kept making that ooohbah, ooohbah noise that those robot things made in Revenge of the Sith.
Woman #1: Omigod! I know what you’re talking about. What a jerk! That’s so funny, though.
Woman #2: Yeah, I know. We laugh about it now. But at the time I punched him in the stomach and called him a bastard. I told him if he opened his mouth again even to cough, we were getting a divorce. Poor guy wouldn’t even talk to the nurses after that.

777 Eisenhower Parkway
Ann Arbor, Michigan