Hostess: I don’t know why they’re getting married. They don’t even have kids!
45 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Hostess: I don’t know why they’re getting married. They don’t even have kids!
45 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Employee on phone: You are a psycho if you think you’ll break up with me over the phone!…What am I supposed to say to a psycho?…What am I supposed to say to a psycho?…What am I supposed to say to a psycho?!
Co-Worker: For my sake, you can say goodbye to a psycho!
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
PM: Hey, Craig*, can you [makes weird slurping noise]?
Craig: No thanks, I’m married.
PM: I don’t know what that means.
191 Oak Plaza Drive
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Coworker #1: Hey, can you cover my shift next week?
Coworker #2: Why? Where are you going?
Coworker #1: My friend’s boyfriend is graduating from pharmacology school.
Coworker #2: Ew. Who would want to be a farmer?
3900 Hillsboro Road
Nashville, Tennessee
Salesguy: Hon? No, i didn’t call her “hon”. . . I don’t even call my wife “hon.” Isn’t that one of those… terms of endearmeants? Is that what it’s called? [Pause] I do use the B-word a lot.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Credit manager: Anyone need some glasses?
Coworker: What kind of glasses?
Credit manager: Drinking glasses, water glasses. I have four and I’m not going to use them.
Coworker: Where’d ya get the glasses from?
Credit manager: I stole them from the hotel I was at last week
Coworker: You can’t go around stealing stuff from hotels.
Credit manager: That’s what my wife tells me, which is why I need to get rid of them before she finds out. Maybe I’ll just put them in the break room.
142 Grand Avenue
Des Moines, Iowa
Partner: I’m gonna call her and see if I can feel her up.
1001 G Street NW
Washington, DC
Team Leader: Well, you know I always have to be right, don’t you?
Employee: You’re lucky to have stayed married all of these years.
Team Leader: Yes, well my wife is a very patient woman.
Employee: Either that or deaf.
14840 Conference Center Drive
Chantilly, Virginia
Overheard by: Jen Foster
Consultant: First she was in Picture magazine, and that was okay. Then it was People magazine, and that was all right. But then she did Hustler, and that one really disturbed me. I mean, it’s strange to look at porn magazines and see your daughter naked, y’know?
44 Phillip Street
Parramatta, New South Wales
Australia
Cubicle #1: I just realized Monday is your birthday. You’ll be…28?
Cubicle #2: Yeah. You know, ten years ago I thought I’d be all married with kids by now. Living in Red Bank or Cheesequake or something.
Cubicle #1: Wow, thank god none of that came true.
Cubicle #2: I know.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
