Female receptionist to male receptionist: Since you're going to lunch in 20 minutes, can you fill up my water bottle?
Male receptionist: Can you blow me?
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Overheard by: gb
Female receptionist to male receptionist: Since you're going to lunch in 20 minutes, can you fill up my water bottle?
Male receptionist: Can you blow me?
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Overheard by: gb
Coworker: Do you know how many inches are in a yard?
Receptionist: Whose yard?
El Segundo, California
Overheard by: Dave
Receptionist on phone: If you want a three-way you're going to have to call them. I can't do that here.
Wilmington, Delaware
Overheard by: Mind bleach, please
(long past June)
Receptionist: I haven't opened all my Christmas gifts yet. I just haven't had time.
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Boss: Those are pretty. Who are they from?
Secretary: Myself. Sorry men send flowers. I don’t need any sorry men in my life.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Secretary: There’s one class called “How to Shoot a Porno.”
Employee: What?
Secretary: Yeah, it’s girl-on-girl. I called to ask if we could get a group discount, but it’s been cancelled due to a scheduling conflict.
Employee: Wow.
Secretary: There’s another class, “How to make sushi”…
845 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
Receptionist: I just want to punch you in your eye ’cause you’re getting too upset!
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki
Assistant: You ever do something repeatedly–so much, that you’re like, “Whoa, this isn’t real. I’m not doing this!”?
Intern: Umm…
Assistant: Like, when you’re staring at your face in the mirror for so long that you’re like, “Whoa! That’s not my face! This isn’t real!” Hasn’t that ever happened to you?
Intern: No. That’s usually when I stop drinking.
900 2nd Street NE
Washington, DC
Attorney: A partner just caught me licking yogurt off my sweater.
Clerk: You’re definitely getting another raise.
Attorney: It was right on the boob.
Clerk: Wow, a raise and a bonus. You’re a real go-getter.
717 Madison Place NW
Washington, DC
Clerk guy: Yeah, so we ordered a pizza last night, and the guy on the phone knew my address, get this, before I even told him!
Clerk girl: Don’t they have caller ID or something?
Clerk guy: Man, I don’t know. I was smoking a big one, and I was like, “Dude, whoa. I think the government is all watching me now.”
Clerk girl: Um, probably not.
Clerk guy: Then explain to me how they knew my address and what kind of pizza I ordered last time! Explain that!
Kmart
Temple, Texas
Overheard by: Vicky
