Kitchen grunt: You ever poop and suddenly find the world a better place?
Main Street
Greenwood, Indiana
Overheard by: RDC
Kitchen grunt: You ever poop and suddenly find the world a better place?
Main Street
Greenwood, Indiana
Overheard by: RDC
(desk girl is on long, heated phone call with same client for fifth time before noon, hangs up, and sighs)
Coworker: Do you hear them in your sleep?
West Main Street
Aspen, Colorado
Help Desk #1: Who should we send?
Help Desk #2: Let’s send [Jessica].
Help Desk #3: She’s perfect.
Help Desk #2: Of course, she’s female.
Help Desk #1: Yeah, she’s very female!
123 Pitkin Road
Plainfield, Vermont
Law firm partner: How much does it cost to raise a cock?
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Female coworker #1: Are your poops big?
Female coworker #2: Well, I don’t exactly examine…
Female coworker #1: Well, compare your big poop to something in real life.
Female coworker #2: This is ridiculous.
Female coworker #1: No, I’m serious.
Female coworker #2: I don’t know, an egg?
Female coworker #1: How many eggs?
Female coworker #2: Three, four?
Female coworker #1: Well, my big poop is like the size of a Nalgene water bottle.
Gladstone Avenue & Galena Boulevard
Aurora, Illinois
Overheard by: Just Trying to Eat My Lunch
Accounting: You submitted a payment request for a renewal fee.
Peon: Yes.
Accounting: Can you find out how long the renewal term is for?
Peon: It says “annual renewal fee” on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, I saw that, but do you know when it’s valid until?
Peon: It says valid from October 31, 2005 on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, but can you make sure? You never know it could be for like two years or something.
3700 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Frazzled accountant: So yes, please mail me the statement ASAP! Yes, thanks, thanks. Okay, love you.
(after a minute, to peon)
Did I just say “I love you”?
California
Office lady: How can you drink that much Red Bull?
Computer nerd: I don’t know, you build up a tolerance.
Office lady: If I drank that much I’d be whacking off the walls.
Computer nerd: Umm, you’d do what?
117th St
Broomfield, Colorado
Overheard by: The other nerd
Geeky IT guy: How can you hate fonts?
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: indifferent to fonts
Director: Hey, you got a tape measure?
Ops Coordinator: What do you need a tape measure for?
3 Nationwide Plaza
Columbus, Ohio
