Curious office worker: How was your poop?
Man who just finished pooping: It was a magnificent log. I could have paddled across the Atlantic on it.
Curious office worker: Just the Atlantic?
Man who just finished pooping: Yeah, I'm out of shape.
Curious office worker: Oh.
Aberdeen, Maryland
Construction guy #1: I can't wait to go see Criss Angel this weekend.
Construction guy #2: He's a freak… He's a mind freak.
Construction guy #1: Yeah. You know why he can do the stuff he does, right? He's part demon.
Construction guy #2: Really?
Construction guy #1: That's what I heard.
Manhattan, New York
Coworker #1: Look at this guy, he's all dressed up today. What a fag!
Coworker #2: I was gonna wear jeans, but my dog jumped all over me this morning.
Coworker #1: You got a tie under there too? Jesus Christ, what a fag!
Bedford, Massachusetts
Office woman #1, listening to police scanner: Why are all those stupid people out in the rain?
Office woman #2: I understand that when it's time to leave work, you want to leave.
Office guy: I would rather drown than spend another hour here at work than I have to.
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: Underpaid
Male: There was a mouse in the trap, did you want to see it?
Female: Not really. I guess I could have given it mouth-to-mouse.
Male: Hahaha! Have you had any mice?
Female: No, there hasn't been any activity in my drawers. Oh! That sounded bad.
Ogden, Utah
Overheard by: Connie
Male Student #1: Yeah, and he wouldn't even look at me in the shower.
Male Student #2: What the fuck's his problem?
Chicago, Illinois
Seemingly normal customer: It's revealing when the lolly-boxes clatter, isn't it? Revealing!
Cashier: Er, yes. (awkward laughter)
Vegetable Shop
Western Australia
Australia
Overheard by: Cara
Dock worker: You know, it would be really cool if we found an eyeball floating in a one of these bottles!
Dock supervisor: What?! Do you know how much paperwork I would have if that happened?
Syosset, New York
15-year-old to sister, after receiving her first pap smear: It was weird!
14-year-old sister: What happened?
15-year-old: I took my pants off. Then he put his finger in my butt!
14-year-old: Oh my god! Then what?
15-year-old: That lady stood there and watched!
Louisiana
Gay coworker to female coworker in white dress: You look so “sacrificial virgin” today.
Female coworker: Um… Thank you?
Gay coworker, whispering: What kind of fabric is that?
Female coworker, whispering: Cotton.
Gay coworker: It looks fun.
Charlotte, North Carolina
