IT manager, asking about IT ticketing system: So, do either of you use heat often?
IT lady: I'm in heat a lot.
Kansas City, Missouri
IT manager, asking about IT ticketing system: So, do either of you use heat often?
IT lady: I'm in heat a lot.
Kansas City, Missouri
Cubicle dweller: What exactly is “squirming”?
IBM
Austin, Texas
Frantic manager, unpacking after move: We have to get all the computers set up asap. Where are all the e-mails going to land?!
Manhattan, New York
HR manager: Why didn't you hire Ashley*?
General manager: Well, Mary* in shipping said that the girl was too good looking. She'd be a distraction to the other employees.
HR manager: Oh, that's nonsense.
General manager: Well, I think that was mainly my fault. When she walked past, I snapped my neck checking her out.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: The good-looking girl in the office
Repair tech: Did you happen to get any details about that equipment not working?
CSR: Why would I? Look, if the client tells me the flux capacitor is broken, I'm not going to know what that means.
Olathe, Kansas
Writer: I'm really bummed that my boss is leaving, and I think everyone in the group is going to quit.
Engineer: I can't think of anyone else from downstairs who is leaving. But there have been a lot of defects.
Writer: That, and defections.
Engineer: What's the difference?
Alpharetta, Georgia
Apathetic nurse: Yeah, we've got one more patient and he's back there playing.
Jealous nurse: What? Who's he playing with?
Apathetic nurse: What are you talking about?
Jealous nurse: What are you talking about?
Apathetic nurse: Ping pong.
Jealous nurse: Oh. I thought you meant something else.
Apathetic nurse: No.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Girl #1, walking into the office: Boys! Sheesh!
Girl #2: What's going on?
Girl #1: The guys are all out there looking at the hole.
Girl #2: What hole?
Girl #1: The guy came to dig up the bushes by the driveway.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah? I didn't even notice they were gone when I pulled in…
Girl #1: They just did it.
Girl #2: In the half-hour I've been here?
Girl #1: They had a big machine that just yanked them up.
Girl #2, moving to front door and looking for hole: Oh, yeah? Hmm…
Charlotte, North Carolina
Grocery store clerk: What is this?
Customer: It's a cucumber.
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: The Natural EMP
Newspaper reporter interviewing designer about home design: So this might sound like a silly question, but are mirrors made of glass?
Tampa, Florida
