9AM Back to Work

Receptionist: Hey, help me with this list. The boss wants me to go to the store and get some stuff for the coffee room. You know, stuff like filters and cups and stuff. But I can’t figure out what these icet rays are.
HR clerk: Let me see the list…Sweetie, this says ice trays. You know, for the freezer to freeze water into cubes.
Receptionist: Are you sure? Because if the boss wants icet rays, that’s what I better get.
HR clerk: Well okay, if you really want icet rays, try the office supply store and make them check in the back. You may have to ask for their manager.
Receptionist: Thanks, see you in a little while.
HR clerk: You know, I should have used that opportunity to sell her a bridge.

5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Posted on November 16, 2014
Advice, Employees, General Idiocy, Mississippi, Offers and requests, Questions, Receptionists, Southeast, Words

It's Important to Get the Right Flavor Myth

Office drone #1: Yeah, and Hercules lost all his strength when he got his hair cut.
Office drone #2: Do you mean Hercules or Samsung?

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: DelilahWorkedforSony

Posted on November 16, 2014
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Names, Questions, Texas

I’ll Write You a Check

Blonde: But do they even make half-pennies anymore?

Plymouth, Michigan

Posted on November 16, 2014
Coworkers, Default, Michigan, Money, Questions, Weirdness

Terrible Acting

Rental associate: How did you enjoy your movies, sir?
Customer, noticeably uncomfortable: Uhhh, the first one sucked, the second one I couldn't get through.
Rental associate: Oh, that's nice. (looks down to see each movie is a porno and turns beet red)

Rancho Cucamonga, California

Overheard by: pixelpusher-909

Posted on November 16, 2014
California, Cinema, Compare and contrast, Customers, Employees, Questions, Sexuality

Hint, Hint.

New PR consultant: Wait. When you're in the witness protection program… can you tell strangers that?

Manhattan, New York

Posted on November 16, 2014
Consultants, General Idiocy, New York, Questions

3PM Coffee Break

Accountant: Why did you switch from coffee to green tea?
Analyst: Tea is easier on my throat and it has more antioxidants.
Accountant: What are antioxidants?
Analyst: They keep me from having oxidants…Come on! That’s funny, dammit!

100 East Rivercenter Boulevard
Covington, Kentucky

Posted on November 16, 2014
Comebacks, Financial Folk, General Idiocy, Kentucky, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Words

You’ll See a Darkening of Hue, Is My Point

CPR instructor: … And how do we tell if an infant isn’t breathing? He will flail around a little and will also turn blue or purple.
Black cop: Um, not trying to be an ass, but what if the baby is my color?
White cop: Oh yeah… That’s known as blurple.

CPR Class, Police Department
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Posted on November 15, 2014
Colorado, Colors, Cops, Coworkers, Default, Doctors, Government, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Race, Words

We're Looking for a Porn Site.

Lawyer, about purchasing domain name: Why don't you go through that website. What's it called? Who's your daddy dot com or something?
CEO: I think that's a different kind of website, Brett.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Receptionist