Coworker #1: What happened to the mailbox?
Coworker #2: What about it?
Coworker #1: It’s gone!
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah…
2201 Commerce Drive
Fremont, Ohio
Coworker #1: What happened to the mailbox?
Coworker #2: What about it?
Coworker #1: It’s gone!
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah…
2201 Commerce Drive
Fremont, Ohio
Supervisor to worker: But why does it always have to be you!?
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1, walking down hallway: What's so wrong with beating dead whores?
Coworker #2: I don't really know what to say right now.
Coworker #1: See! In this morning's meeting nobody else said anything about it either. I was just saying that we need to stop talking about the budget because it's like beating dead whores. Like that saying goes. But the conversation just kind of stopped.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Jen
Dumb girl: I'm really good at those things.
Supportive guy: What things?
Dumb girl: Those things, like with the letters. Like Roy G Biv and stuff like that.
Supportive guy: Oh, like mnemonic devices. That's good.
Asshole guy: So do you know what an i-d-i-o-t is?
Dumb girl: Uh… (thinks)… Shit! No!
Asshole guy: That's, like, really important for our job. You have to know an i-d-i-o-t.
Dumb girl: But I don't! Crap!
Hempstead Turnpike
Wantagh, New York
Overheard by: Kim, the Anit-Idiot.
Lunch room breaker #1: The irony is that she was the only one that knew the Heimlich maneuver, but she couldn’t do it because she was six months pregnant.
Dumb dumb: So, why couldn’t she do it?
Lunch room breaker #1: Do you know what the Heimlich maneuver is?
Pine Street
San Francisco, California
Customer: Do you sell cards?
Hallmark employee: Yes. Yes, we do.
The Hallmark Store
Manhattan, Kansas
Overheard by: Fellow Hallmark Employee
Producer: Have you ever heard the South Park song about finger-bangin?
Assistant: The only song I heard today was “I'm at a gay bar.”
Producer: Well, it happens there, too…
Hollywood, California
Engineer to lunchroom: So do you guys know if we’re officially called ‘United States of America’ or is it just ‘United States’?
413 Pine St
Seattle, Washington
Gay admin: I’m thinking of taking a gym class at a community college next quarter. What do you think I should take?
Straight admin: Badminton. Yep, definitely badminton. That’s nice and gay.
Sunnyvale, California
Starbucks barista: You know why they are called “naked juices”?
20-something: Excuse me?
Starbucks barista: They sprinkle just a little bit of E in them… Next thing you know you're feeling up on yourself, then next thing you know you're naked.
20-something: Uhhh…
Starbucks barista: I'm high as balls right now, man.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: College Student
