Lady peon #1: Are you going to participate in Lou’s retirement party?
Lady peon #2: Yes — I’m going to jump out of the cake.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: The Quotable Cubicle
Lady peon #1: Are you going to participate in Lou’s retirement party?
Lady peon #2: Yes — I’m going to jump out of the cake.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: The Quotable Cubicle
Employee #1: Did you smell that?
Employee #2: Why would he call us in there after doing that?
Employee #1: I don’t think he knows; my grandma would fart all the time and nobody said a word. We figured she did not know.
Supervisor: I am going to White Castle, anybody want some sliders?
4501 West Mitchell Avenue
Cincinnati, Ohio
Managing director: Did you meet Daron* yesterday?
HR recruiter: Daron?
Managing director: I introduced him to you yesterday.
HR recruiter: Who?
Managing director: I did.
HR recruiter: No, you didn’t.
Managing director: … Maybe I’m going crazy. You know — Daron, with the dreads.
HR recruiter: With what?
Managing director: Dreads. You know — dreadlocks.
HR recruiter: Oh, I hate those.
Managing director: What? Dreadlocks have been around since the Bible.
HR recruiter: What?
Managing director: Since Samson and Delilah. Samson had dreads.
HR recruiter: Who did?
Managing director: Samson!
HR recruiter: You mean Daron?
Managing director: Who?
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Office worker #1: …. Mmmmmm…. You really don’t look well. What’s wrong?
Office worker #2: Well I don’t know… Is it normal for your bladder to be apprehensive?
Grafton Street
Dublin
Ireland
Overheard by: Rory the irish guy
Man on phone: Now, is this something that if I open it at home, it'll explode? Oh, right, in case a group of nuns is taking a tour. Well, thank you uncle Eugene! I hope you shoot something this weekend!
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Who exactly is this Uncle Eugene?
Dispatcher #1: Do you like that Ford truck country singer guy?
Dispatcher #2: Who, Toby Keith? I can't stand that guy, he makes my testosterone boil!
Dispatcher #3: Does that hurt?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Supervisor: I smelled bad today so I sprayed myself with a lot of deodorant.
Co-worker: You know what we call doing that back home?
Supervisor: Normal?
3350 Pine Avenue
Long Beach, California
Suit: Your last name is Smith. Are you related to a Nelson Smith?
Clerk: No, Smith is my marriage name. That reminds me; I need to file for divorce.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Male attorney #1: So it's been heavy these days?
Male attorney #2: Yeah, I can't wait for this period to be over.
(females nearby snigger to each other)
Manhattan, New York
Client: May I ask you a question?
Patent Agent: Uh, sure.
Client: I’d like your opinion on my [douche] invention as an engineer and as a woman.
508 Riverbend Drive
Kitchener, Ontario
Canadia
