Proud grandmother to coworker: Look, here's the latest picture of my granddaughter! She's four now!
Coworker: She is so cute! I see she still has that unibrow thing going on. Will she have it lasered off?
Proud grandmother: Maybe. But she is growing into it.
Irvine, California
Coworker on cell: I just don't understand bro, what do you need a real human head for?
Baltimore, Maryland
Supermarket guy #1: Do you have a pen?
Supermarket guy #2: No.
Supermarket guy #1: Where do you live?
Supermarket guy #2: What for? So you can come over anytime and borrow my pen?
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Timm D
Employee #1 to boss: Oh, what the fuck?! It smells like shit up there!
Boss, laughing: You farted!
Employee #1: No, I did not!
Employee #2: Duuude! Some kid just shit on the carpet!
Boss: No! Shut the fuck up!
Employee #1: Oh, come on! Two months ago some kid pissed on the carpet, and now we got some fucker who shit on the carpet?!
Employee #1: He really shat?
Employee #2: He had diarrhea or something.
Los Angeles, California
HR person, filling out paperwork for new employee: I need to know the name of the bank to direct deposit your check to.
New employee, dumbfounded: Um, shoot, I can’t remember it. Oh, it’s the one connected to the liquor store!
Hanson Avenue
Albert Lea, Minnesota
Employee #1 to #2: Hey, haven't seen you on FarmVille in a while.
Employee #2: Yeah, I've been busy.
Employee #3, walking into office: What are you talking about?
Employee #1: Oh, nothing, just telling Mark* that he needs to get off his ass and come plow my crops.
Employee #3, walking out of office: Wow… Just wow.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: FBook has changed the world as we know it…
Chinese coworker: Where did my customer go? She was there a minute ago and now she’s disappeared.
White coworker: She probably went to the bathroom.
Chinese coworker: Maybe her baby was drowning in the bathroom and she had to go rescue it.
White coworker, after long pause: What the fuck is that, an old Chinese proverb?
50th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: cp
Employee, to boss : These internet blocks suck. I just got kicked off for trying to google whether or not Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite!
Boss : Well, try to remember to look it up when you get home.
Providence, Rhode Island
Deli worker #1: You need to be thinking about what you want to do with your life.
Deli worker #2: I want to serve people meat. Is there anything wrong with that?
Shreveport, Louisiana
Receptionist to trainee: Oh, you asked about the dead rabbit in my car. It’s for Yolanda, her dad wanted it.
Charlotte, North Carolina
