Questions

NewsFlash: Woman Beaten to Death with Krullers. Ruled “Justifiable.”

Soccer mom: Can I have a medium iced latte? (pause) Wait, how much is a large?
Employee: $2.99.
Soccer mom: And how much is the medium?
Employee: $2.69.
Soccer mom: So which is the better value?
Employee: Huh?
Soccer mom: How many ounces are in the large? How many are in the medium? What's the cost per ounce of each?
Next customer in line: Here's thirty cents, just give her a large.
Soccer mom: I'm not sure if I want a large.
Rest of very long line: Argh!

Dunkin Donuts
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Heavy D

Stop Talking About My Unborn Baby That Way

Thin coworker girl, about carrot cake: I'll have seconds.
Middle-aged coworker woman: Your tapeworm wants another piece?

1000 Exposition
Los Angeles, California

Seems Like It Might Take a While to Get to You

Receptionist: I was just going to put this in the mail for you today but since you’re here I’ll just give it to you.
Customer: Do you want me to mail it?

Rayen Avenue
Youngstown, Ohio

In a Manner of Speaking, I Suppose

Male employee to foreign coworker: So you're going swimming today? Brought your Speedos?
Foreign coworker: You mean my panties?

Maylands Avenue
Hertfordshire
England

Overheard by: laughing uncontrollably

Except Today They Were Spouting Some Nonsense About Loving My Neighbor

Coworker #1: What radio station do you listen to on your way to work?
Coworker #2: I listen to a Christian station so I can prepare myself for dealing with you assholes.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: one of the assholes

This Just Got Way Too Zen

Intercom: Hey, how do you spell Sarah with an “h”?
Assistant: Yes.

3350 Tillamook Street
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Carrie Cole

Hypothetical Slogan for Bush/Cheney ’08

New hire: How many people work here?
HR clerk: About half of them.

5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

12PM Go Through Resumes

Colleague: What happened to the woman who used to process requisitions? Her office looks deserted.
Secretary: She’s gone.
Colleague: Is she going to be replaced?
Secretary: We don’t replace people in this office; we just hire someone new.

1400 John R. Lynch Street
Jackson, Mississippi

Different Religions Have Varying Explanations

Case worker: Deb*, where can I find the new intake forms?
Deb*: You know, I've always wondered about that.

Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

Weren't They the Ones Who Diddled Sacagawea?

Security guard #1: Well you know Hitler's mother was Jewish.
Supervisor: I know! Wouldn't Freud have had a field day with that?
Security guard #2: Who?
Supervisor: You know, Sigmund Freud?
Security guard #2: Oh, the magician?
Security guard #1: What?
Security guard #2: You know, the magician with the tigers?
Supervisor: Thats Sigfried and Roy!

Lakeport, California

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