…Ma'am

Coworker on phone: Hi, I was waiting to speak to Doug. (pause) No, Doug is a man, I spoke to a man before. (pause) Oh, sorry, you just didn't sound like the guy I spoke to last time.

Victoria
BC
Canadia

Posted on March 31, 2010
Canadia, Coworkers, On the phone, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality

I'm Perfect for Disarmament Talks

Manager on the phone: I'm carrying the shoulders of five people on my back.

Pomona, California

Overheard by: Rather confused

Posted on March 26, 2010
Body Parts, Bosses, California, Gripes, On the phone

…By Calling 911 and Running Away

Irate cafeteria worker to 14-year-old daughter, over phone: I will fight you like I'd fight an enemy in the street.

Garden City, New York

Overheard by: emma pilsbury

Posted on March 25, 2010
Compare and contrast, Employees, Family, Family members, New York, On the phone, Violence

I'm Beginning to Think I Don't Have Womb for Him in My Life

Fellow cube dweller on cell to friend: He gets all clingy every time I have a miscarriage.

Henderson, Nevada

Overheard by: Sal Sagev

Posted on March 25, 2010
Employees, Family, Friends, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Nevada, On the phone

Never Hire a Ballerina

Coworker on cell: I have a confession to make fast, horse peeps! Are you ready for this? (pause) The reason I have to go home is to do number two. Because last time I think it came out like a subway sandwich. And the toilet doesn?t work upstairs anymore. (pause) Yes, that was me! So there, I feel better now.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Trevor Arnold

Posted on March 10, 2010
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Restroom, Weirdness

On Rainy Days, I Can Wear My Umbrella Hat

Male administrative assistant on phone: It's great that I am eccentric, it means I can be deviant most of the time.

Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: watching the clock

Posted on March 8, 2010
Admins, Compare and contrast, Maryland, On the phone, Weirdness

Dr. Phil's Bitter He Didn't Come Up with This One

Receptionist on phone: Cupcakes are just muffins that accessorize.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Posted on February 9, 2010
Compare and contrast, Meals and Snacks, Minnesota, On the phone, Receptionists

We'll Also Hire a Chimp to Press Random Buttons, and See If That Helps.

Colleague, on phone to is help desk: Hi, I'd like to report that we haven't had access to the internet for two days now.
Help desk: Okay, we'll log it as an issue.
Colleague: What happens now?
Help desk: We'll report it to security to look at.
Colleague: And what will they do?
Help desk: They'll look at it.

Manchester, New Hampshire

Posted on February 9, 2010
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Internet, New Hampshire, Office Politics, On the phone, Questions, Technology

When She Writes Emails, She Begins Them With “Hi, It's Kate…”

Attorney, leaving voicemail: Hi, this is Kate. I'm just returning your call about the project documents. Feel free to call me back at your earliest convenience. Best, Kate.
(hangs up, then screams) Ohmigod! I just said “best, Kate” at the end of a voicemail. Who does that? Who leaves voice mails like they're writing e-mails?!

Manhattan, New York

Posted on February 4, 2010
Internet, Lawyers, Names, New York, On the phone, Questions

Space Whores and Their Willing Johns Was an Immediate Hit for the Sci-Fi Channel

Director of logistics on phone: They're all a bunch of space whores. And we're the willing Johns.

Cupertino, California

Posted on February 1, 2010
Bosses, California, Compare and contrast, On the phone, Sexuality, Weirdness

On the phone