I'll Take That As a No

Agent: Can you tell me what color the small square or circular sticker is on the back of your phone?
Customer: I had cervical surgery this week. My neck hurts.

Vermillion, South Dakota

Overheard by: Haley

Posted on January 14, 2015
Body Parts, Colors, Customers, Employees, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Questions, South Dakota, Weirdness

But Don’t You Need to Know My Lineage?

Caller: Yes, I would like to confirm my reservation for tonight. My surname is Tango Anglo-Saxon, Newfoundland–
Receptionist: Um, sir, you lost me at ‘Tango.’ Can I just have the first three letters of your last name?

Kinzie and State Streets
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on January 12, 2015
Dumb Customers, Illinois, On the phone

Well It's Clear on My Desktop Wallpaper, Anyway.

Ubergeek on phone: I am up in Davenport right now, and it's quite clear, and rumor has it Schwarzenegger will be here tomorrow.
Neighbor geek: Stop pretending like you go outside and can enjoy good weather.

Davenport, California

Posted on January 12, 2015
California, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Nerds and Geeks, On the phone, Politics, Weather

We All Have Lingering Questions About Sarah Palin

Coworker on phone: It doesn't still smell like squirrel, does it?

Portland, Oregon

Posted on January 7, 2015
Animals, Coworkers, On the phone, Oregon, Questions, Sensory Experiences

Seems Like a Crazy Business Venture, Though

Guy on cell in building lobby: Yeah, I googled it, and you can buy straitjackets online.

Portland, Maine

Overheard by: Jennifer

Posted on January 7, 2015
Clothes, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Internet, Maine, On the phone, Weirdness

But the Pool Doesn’t Receive Any Mail

Pool Owner: Yes, I would like you to close my pool for the winter.
Clerk: Okay, great. Where is the pool located.
Pool Owner: In our backyard.
Clerk: Yes Ma’am I appreciate that since we have never found a permit approved for a front yard pool. Now what is the address of your pool?
Pool Owner: Was that a stupid answer?

Henninger Court
Chantilly, Virginia

Overheard by: SKippyMom

Posted on January 7, 2015
Customer Service, Customers, Default, General Idiocy, On the phone, Questions, Smart Employees, Virginia

…Once I Take These Pumps Off

Receptionist on phone: I'll be shorter than a midget on his knees!

Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Posted on January 7, 2015
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Receptionists, The Military, Washington DC

1PM Lunch

Co-worker on phone: Well, when I asked you over for lunch I asked if there was something you didn’t eat besides cheese…Well I’m just saying you should have told me you didn’t eat pork when I asked…Yes, I know you’re Jewish…Well whatever you are, you’re an idiot and a liar. You should have told me about the pork…Ew, she’s your first cousin.

622 3rd Avenue
New York, NY

Posted on January 4, 2015
Coworkers, Family, Gripes, Insults, Meals and Snacks, New York, On the phone, Outbursts, Religion

I Mean, the Dog, the Cane — What Would You Think?

Boss to client on phone: I walked her home every day for months because I thought she was blind!

1430 Massachusetts Avenue
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on January 4, 2015
Gossip, Massachusetts, On the phone

I Should Write This Stuff Down

Coworker on phone: Hi, Sally*. How you been? Working hard, or.. (cough cough)
Voice on speaker phone: Hi–you okay?
Coworker: (cough) Yes… (cough cough)
Voice: Okay, then. Well, I took a look at the accounts…
Coworker: (cough cough cough)
Voice: And I noticed our balance…
Coworker: (cough) Or hardly working?
Voice: What?

Melville, New York

Posted on January 4, 2015
Coworkers, Lies, Money, New York, On the phone, Questions

On the phone