Though I Did Not Look, Still I Could See

Boss on phone: I couldn’t find anything wrong with it, they did a great job. I mean, to be honest, I never looked at it, but I’m sure they did a great job. It looks good.

703 McKinney Avenue
Dallas, Texas

Posted on January 27, 2015
Compliments, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, On the phone, Texas

9AM Back to Work

Tech support guy on phone: Hi, I was wondering if you had a hair dryer?
…No, I have a meeting in about an hour, and I spilled coffee on my pants, and I don’t want to go this meeting with wet pants.
…I figured since you have such beautiful hair that you probably have a hair dryer.
…Well, thanks anyway, but a curling iron is probably not going to work.

160 Rio Robles
San Jose, California

Overheard by: Mitch Shiver

Posted on January 27, 2015
California and Northwest, Meals and Snacks, On the phone

10AM Data Validation

Agent on phone: When did you die? While you were in the hospital?

37383 6 Mile Road
Livonia, Michigan

Posted on January 24, 2015
Michigan, On the phone, Questions

5PM You Don’t Have to Tell Me Twice

Co-worker on phone: Okay, go home and make dinner and await further instructions.

133 Littleton Road
Westford, Massachusetts

Posted on January 24, 2015
Coworkers, Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Relationships, Violence

Now I Have to Figure Out What “Coffee” Is

Airhead intern, chatting loudly on cell: I have to go, they actually gave me something to do.

7th and 34th
New York City, New York

Posted on January 23, 2015
Default, Interns & Temps, New York, Offers and requests, On the phone, Time Management

“…and don’t expect a gift.”

Coworker on phone: Are you getting married?…Well, I heard you was gettin’ married…’Cause if you’re getting married, I need to know about it and I don’t want you to be my life insurance beneficiary anymore! I just want someone to feed my goddamn cats if something happens to me!

100 East Broad Street
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on January 22, 2015
Gossip, Ohio, On the phone

If It Were, This Mimosa Would Be a Lot More Appropriate

Receptionist: Good morning, ABC* machinery.
Customer: Good morning, can I speak to Bob*?
Receptionist: One moment, please.
Customer, under his breath: It's not morning!

Amarillo, Texas

Overheard by: Jocelyn

Posted on January 21, 2015
Customer Service, General Idiocy, Names, On the phone, Receptionists, Texas

…Which Is a Totally Different Recipe.

Coworker on phone: I made some really good roasted vegetables with polenta last night, you should have been there. (pause) No, that's a placenta.

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Shannon

Posted on January 21, 2015
Colorado, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Words

Remember How We Said If You Asked That Again You’d Be Fired?

Sales rep on phone: Um, I don’t know, let me check… [Mutes phone and yells to coworkers] Do we carry Big Ben’s nut sauce?!

Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Laughing too hard to answer

Posted on January 20, 2015
On the phone, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, South Carolina

PTSD Is Quite Common in the Postal Service

Woman yelling to husband over cell phone, with look of horror in her eyes: *Bob? Bob?!? Bob, are you crying? Are you crying, bob?!? Yes, I need stamps. 100 of them.

University Place
Stamford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Studs

Posted on January 17, 2015
Connecticut, Customers, Default, Family, Feelings, On the phone, Questions, Service, Weirdness

On the phone