On the phone

Engineer on phone: Hi, this is Jim from [Company A]. Oh, wait, that’s you. Shit.

Paterson, New Jersey

CSR on phone: No ma'am… If I was out trying to bang my dick in a bar I wouldn't take the time to call you back.

Atlanta, Georgia

85-year-old client: I’ve been sick all morning but I’ll tell you what: the best way to cure diarrhea is by drinking wine!
Sales manager on phone: Oh… Um… Really?

Hotel
Dulles, Virginia

Overheard by: Rather Disgusted

Woman in cubicle on call with overseas agent: Oh, hello… were you in Slumdog Millionaire?
Confused customer service agent: What?

Ottawa
Canadia

Overheard by: poking my eyes out with my pen

Sheepish cube dweller trying to be quiet: Yeah. This is Angie* from last night. I think I left my gym shoes in your car last night when we were done.

Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: Septimus

Manager, training new employee: If they call and are interested in strap-on play and ask for, say, mistress Lola, tell them she's been roaming the halls with her strap-on, humping the walls.
New employee, with wide eyes: Really?
Established employee, passing by: Only on Sundays.

Grand & Ogden
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Yes, It's a BDSM Dungeon

Woman on phone: Tomorrow I have to go to the alternation place to get my dress alternated.

Schaumburg, Illinois

Overheard by: Emily

Cubicle mate on phone: Yeah, that’s so me. Wait, now what is this called? Well I’d rather be a dog walker than a porn star!

Topeka, Kansas

Creative director on phone: Maybe the guy goes up and kicks the bear in the balls…I don’t know.

111 E. Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Hear No Evil

Guy with loafers but no socks on cell: Hi son, it's me. Am I going to see you at the club tonight, or are you staying home? Oh, okay. So did you switch your class schedule? So now you're taking gym instead of business law? Terrific! That's great. Okay, see you soon. Bye.

New Haven, Connecticut

Overheard by: who calls their son