How Many Guests on The O'Reilly Factor Feel

Female coworker on phone with manager: Yes, I know it's an impossible request. (pause) I don't know, either he thinks he's freakin' Jesus or he thinks I am. Either way, I'm about to get a cheap, perverse thrill out of crushing his entire belief system.

Chelmsford, Massachusetts

Overheard by: I think I'm Santa

Posted on June 9, 2009
Bosses, Employees, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, On the phone, Religion, Weirdness

Kinda Hip, Kinda Now, Kinda Happening

New project manager: Make it more…sciency.
Chemist: Sciency?
Project manager: You know, truthier.
Chemist: Did you have a stroke?
Project manager: This is just my project management style.

Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on June 5, 2009
Bosses, Canadia, Employees, General Idiocy, Offers and requests, Office Politics, Questions, Science

…As Long As It Doesn't Involve Opening the Trunk Of My Car.

Client: May I speak with Elizabeth?
Distracted receptionist: I'm sorry…she's no longer with us…but…not dead. Is there something I can help you with?

Ad Agency
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Rest in Peace…

Posted on April 21, 2009
Customers, Death, New York, Offers and requests, Receptionists

Teamwork and All That

Office girl: My computer just crashed.
Coworker: You can use mine.
Office girl: Thanks.
Coworker: No, you better not touch it. You might break it. (laughs, then pauses) On the other hand, I'd like you to touch it. Touch it as much as you want.

High Point, North Carolina

Posted on April 8, 2009
Body Parts, Coworkers, North Carolina, Offers and requests, Sexuality, Technology

Big Fan Though I Am

Benefit lady: Would you like to buy a raffle ticket?
Pompous cube dweller: I've already bought a muffin for three times as much as I normally would. That's all the boobs get from me today.

Breast Cancer Awareness Bake Sale & Silent Auction
Maitland, Florida

Overheard by: crisa

Posted on March 31, 2009
Body Parts, Comebacks, Employees, Florida, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, Money, Offers and requests, Strangers

Yes.

Partner #1: Ask me a yes-or-no question.
Partner #2: How was your day?

New York City, New York

Overheard by: dp

Posted on March 11, 2009
General Idiocy, New York, Offers and requests, Questions

An Answer to the Maiden's Prayer Can't Be Far Off

Receptionist: Give me an STD that's not serious, just…unhealthy.

London
England

Posted on March 3, 2009
Health & Hygiene, London, Offers and requests, Receptionists, Sexuality, Weirdness

You Should Write This Stuff Down, Sir

Assistant to boss: I need to leave early today for a dentist's appointment. Would that be okay?
Boss: Sure, is at 2:30?
Assistant: 2:30?? No, it's at 3.
Boss: Well, it should be at 2:30.
Assistant: Why?
Boss (chuckling): Because you're tooth hurty. Get it? Two thirty, tooth hurty.
Assistant: Are you kidding me?

Dallas, Texas