Patron: I'm looking for a book. Could you help me?
Clerk: Can you tell me the title?
Patron: No.
Clerk: How about the author ?
Patron: Uh, no, I don't don't know the author or the title but it has something to do with (pause) uhh…
Clerk: You need to go to the reference desk so that they can look it up for you.
Lima, Ohio
Telemarketer with heavy Indian accent: Hello, I would like to speak to whoever handles your Yellow Pages or SuperPages needs. Who would that be?
Guy, interrupted at work: Do you not see a problem with the phonebook sales person calling and saying they don't know who they are calling?
Honolulu, Hawaii
Secretary: She asked me to file these but I'm not quite sure how she wants them.
Lazy old receptionist: Just do it wrong and she'll quit asking you to do stuff. That's what I do.
Crown Point, Indiana
Overheard by: the one that usually asks
Receptionist, over intercom: Would anyone with a banana please come to the front desk?
Boston, Massachusetts
Boss: (blows nose)
Annoyingly nice coworker: Are you alright? Can I help you with anything?
Boss: Are you serious? I'm blowing my nose. How do you want to help?
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: lori
Oblivious mail worker bee: Hey, Bob*. You have a really large package!
Manager, trying not to laugh: Wow. Uh, I'm not going to touch that one.
Oblivious mail worker bee: I don't blame you! If you need some help carrying that, let me know.
Sandy, Utah
Executive to director: What are you doing at five pm today?
Director: Whatever you need me to be doing.
Executive: I'm interviewing a young lady with Down's syndrome and I was hoping to have someone sit in with me to make sure I don't say anything retarded.
Director: (blank stare)
Executive: Oh. Yeah. Like that.
Kansas City, Missouri
Horse veterinarian to assistant: Okay, I'm going to need him sedated. Sue, you scrub him, and…Heather, get on the penis.
Cleveland, Ohio
Boss: I need some old metal rims.
Office worker: Can I take some off of my neighbor's Mustang for you?
Boss: No, that's homicide.
Griswold, Connecticut
Overheard by: rememberwhatuheardwhenuwerentevenlistening
Cashier, ringing up books: Okay, ma'am, and would you like to donate a book to a foster child tonight?
Customer: No, it's okay, I'm already doing a foster child.
(cashier stares in shock)
Customer: Oh, wait. I meant to say I'm mentoring a foster child.
Barnes & Noble
Seattle, Washington
