Ad lady: Yeah, I was always the one who rolled around on the floor and threw myself under a truck, but not anymore.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Ad lady: Yeah, I was always the one who rolled around on the floor and threw myself under a truck, but not anymore.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Coworker: Yes, I ordered Italian ice from your menu…Oh, so you don’t have any more Italian ice. Hmmm, what else would I like?…Oh, you don’t have Italian ice, but you have iced tea?…um, what?
1251 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Female coworker: Oh my god, I just skooged all over you! I just shot my load!
(office is silent)
Female coworker: I was squishing my lotion and I even got it on my watch.
Manhattan, New York
Worker #1: There he goes, tossing his salad again. Isn’t that a phrase? Doesn’t that mean something? “Tossing the salad”?
Temp: Yes, it’s a phrase.
Worker #1: But what does it mean? Is it like, “I’m gonna kick your ass”? “I’m gonna toss your salad”?
Temp: Um, not exactly.
Worker #2: Yeah, I’ve heard that, too. What does that mean? Do you know?
Temp: Yes, I know, but it’s kind of inappropriate for work.
Worker #1: Oh really? What does it mean?
Temp: It’s inappropriate for work.
Worker #1: Oh come on, just tell me.
Temp: Well, it’s…analingus.
Worker #1: Oh. Really?
Worker #2: I never heard that.
Worker #1: “I’m gonna toss your salad”. Huh.
Worker #3: …If anyone was made uncomfortable by this conversation, come talk to me later.
900 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
Woman: Wow! You sure do know how to type. You’re typing 100 hours a mile! It’s amazing!
2 Rector Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Larry Flores
Trashy girl: What time do you close? 10?
Laundromat owner: 9:30.
Trashy girl: Well… Could you like, stay open until 10? So I could get my clothes?
Laundromat owner: (blank stare)
Trashy girl: I mean, could you just, like, not close with my clothes still in here?
Laundromat owner: Lady, as soon as that clock hits 9:30, we out of here.
Queens, New York
Boss: …Right where a woman belongs!
Co-worker: Where’s that, [Kevin]?
Boss: In the kitchen!
Co-worker: Oh, you did not just say that!
Boss: No, you’re right…I didn’t.
1345 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Co-worker: That’s it — I’m getting nose glasses.
2 Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Office mate on speakerphone: I need to send my printer back. It isn’t working.
CSR for printer company: Okay, I can set up a return shipment and get you a label and address to send yours back. What is your e-mail address, sir? [He relates e-mail address.] Okay, when you get the link on the e-mail I just sent you, print the FedEx label and put it on the box to ship it.
Office mate: Um, well, my printer is broken, which is why I am sending it back…
CSR: I understand that, sir, so what I have done to speed up the process is send you a shipping label all prepared for you to ship the box out.
Office mate: How am I supposed to do that if my printer is broken?!
CSR: Well, you print it up and put it on the box.
Office mate: Okay, when we are done with this, I would like to order an instructional DVD on how to setup my DVD player.
CSR: I’m not following you, sir. I thought your problem was with your printer. We don’t have DVD players.
Office mate: Dude, you’re killing me! Can I speak to a supervisor, please?
34th Street and 8th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Zoos
