Big boss at farewell party for employee: I stopped drinking soda a long time ago because I want to stop consuming all those fake sugars.
Young employee: I stopped buying soda along time ago, too, so I can have more money for alcohol.
Broadway and Wall Street
New York, New York
Guy: The worst part of being a corrections officer is when the prisoners want to fight you.
Suit: Yeah, that seems like it would be dangerous.
Guy: No, it’s just that I hate the paperwork.
327 Lakeshore Drive East
Dunkirk, New York
Chubby, enthusiastic gay guy: I'm going to be the next Valerie Bertinelli!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Woman exiting man’s office: Give ’em a copy of your contract — I don’t care. I have better things to do than sit here and jerk myself off.
498 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: I care
Supervisor surfing the net for “news”: Look! A cyclops baby was born in India! This is what happens when I don’t keep up with current events.
666 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Lady #1: I’ve always wanted to try the sales department.
Lady #2: Ever since I was little, I wanted to be a forest ranger.
Wall Street
New York City, New York
AP manager trying to decide on a vacation destination: I don't get it: why do you need a passport for Mexico but not Hawaii, when Mexico is just right there and Hawaii is a 16-hour flight?!
Midtown
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: facepalm
Straight cube girl: Straight people are a dime a dozen! It’s hard to find a good lesbian lover. You, of all people, should know that.
Straight cube guy: I know, I know.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Frazzled boss: Today has been just awful.
Concerned coworker: I know, hun. (in a hushed tone) Do you want a Xanax?
Frazzled boss: Oh, god, no…thank you…I have my own supply. (in hushed tone) And I've already had several.
New York City, New York
Co-worker #1: [Justin], can I borrow your finance guide?
Co-worker #2: Um, sure…Wait, it’s not here. I did have one, but it’s gone.
Co-worker #1: Yeah, I borrowed it.
Co-worker #2: …
233 Broadway
New York, NY
