Assistant #1: I just accidentally punched that girl in the head by the fax machine.
Assistant #2: Good.
Assistant #1: Yeah, but then she said “Ow” all drawn out and gave me a nasty look.
Assistant #2: What a bitch.
Assistant #1: Quit squatting by the fax machine and I won’t punch you in the head.
233 Spring Street
New York, NY
Boss: Did you draw on my banana?
Hofstra University
Long Island, New York
Worker #1: How was your weekend?
Worker #2: Good. I almost got married; the usual.
393 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Boss: …and I need a costume. I need to go dressed like a king and then I am going to a concert afterwards. I can go as any old king, Old King Cole, Nat King Cole…that would be great! I just have to have enough time to get the make-up on my face.
444 Park Ave South
New York, NY
VP: She was mean! She said, “I guess I’ll just have to come up to New York and kill you then.”
Assistant: Was she being sarcastic?
VP: I think so.
30 E. 33rd Street
New York, NY
Woman: …and the doctor was like, “I’ve never seen so much wax in one ear before!”, and I was like, “Can we just get on with this already? I’m on vacation in Hawaii!”.
1745 Broadway
New York, NY
Co-worker: Dude…don’t you hate it when like clients are dicks and stuff?
51 W. 52nd Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: J-Mo
Trainer: When you answer the phone, feel free to say something like “good morning” or “good afternoon.”
Trainee: You mentioned “good morning” and “good afternoon” but what am I supposed to say if it's evening?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Karen
Guy in charge of newspaper, commenting on Avatar opening: People seem to be going back to movies now.
Manhattan, New York
Employee on phone: Hello, this is John*. (pause) No, I'm sorry, I can't help you with that. I kind of suck. (pause) Okay, thanks, bye!
Melville, New York
