Speaker for sales meeting: Just consider Mastercard. You know, “Plane ticket to Boca Raton: 400 dollars. Doing it with you grandpa: priceless.”
Bellevue, Washington
Speaker for sales meeting: Just consider Mastercard. You know, “Plane ticket to Boca Raton: 400 dollars. Doing it with you grandpa: priceless.”
Bellevue, Washington
Flamboyant marketing director: In my opinion, prostitutes are great because they help my liver. Let me explain–it cuts the process in half. I don't have to waste my money buying drinks for guys at the bar that still might not sleep with me. So… in the end, my liver is healthier because of prostitutes.
Old lady assistant: Prosciutto is good for the liver? I'll put it in a salad!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lowly Intern
Office assistant on phone: No, you have never been able to use funding for summer expenses. (pause) When did this happen? (pause) January is not summer!
Cambridge, Massachusetts
IT guy #1: How do you get yourself $400,000 in debt?
IT guy #2: Yeah, and if you are that much in debt, why would you kill yourself?
IT guy #1: Yeah, just file for bankruptcy and wait for your Obama dollaz to come in.
Sparks, Maryland
Overheard by: Dial
Guy #1, during department meeting at adult industry company: The homemade video clips of everyday guys jacking off are actually making a lot of money, provided they're adequately equipped.
Guy #2: I know what I'm doing tonight!
Girl: Praying for a bigger penis?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Boss #1: We need to cut the cost of producing this calendar.
Boss #2: Yes. What's driving the page count?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: sigh….
Supervisor: The problem is that we have some faculty who just will not leave. There's a guy who hasn't been paid since 1991 that still comes in every day.
Worcester, Massachusetts
Ghetto EKG tech: How is you gonna pay fo' yo' rent now that you got that big house?
Even more ghetto secretary: I'm gonna have to suck a lot of dick!
(passing-by physician gives an uncomfortable glance at them)
Ghetto secretary: Oh shit! I shouldn't have said that out loud!
Tampa, Florida
Female bookseller: How long does it usually take to get your deposit back on an apartment?
Male bookseller: It could be two or three months, depending on how big of an asshole they want to be.
Female bookseller: Hm. (pause) Yeah, I prefer smaller assholes.
Bookstore
Des Moines, Iowa
Man on phone: The money is the same either way…but this time, no one goes to jail.
Los Angeles, California
