Male coworker: Why don't you get some prescription sunglasses?
Female coworker: Fuck that! Those are like hundreds of dollars, and that's money I could be spending on food and marijuana!
Atlanta, Georgia
Male coworker: Why don't you get some prescription sunglasses?
Female coworker: Fuck that! Those are like hundreds of dollars, and that's money I could be spending on food and marijuana!
Atlanta, Georgia
Girl executive: I bank at Wells Fargo.
Guy executive: Oh, they charge a bunch of fees. You must like getting fucked in the ass.
Girl executive: Well…
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Coworker on phone: Hi, Sally*. How you been? Working hard, or.. (cough cough)
Voice on speaker phone: Hi–you okay?
Coworker: (cough) Yes… (cough cough)
Voice: Okay, then. Well, I took a look at the accounts…
Coworker: (cough cough cough)
Voice: And I noticed our balance…
Coworker: (cough) Or hardly working?
Voice: What?
Melville, New York
Male supervisor on phone to boss: Okay, I'll do the cash out today, oh and can you bring makeup tomorrow and turn me into an old woman? (pause) Great, thanks!
Olypmic Peninsula, Washington
Overheard by: great scott
Guy #1: Man, I wish we had one of those things. You know, you put money in and food comes out?
Guy #2: Vending machine?
Guy #1: Yeah. Right.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Scott
Office girl #1: I wish Chinese places would deliver around here!
Office girl #2: They do. You have to pay a service fee but they will bring you food.
Office girl #1: But I don't live around here, so how does that help me?
Maryland
Lady #1: I’m very tired. I went out last night.
Lady #2: Oh, did you have a lot to drink?
Lady #1: Of course not, I’m pregnant.
Lady #2: It’s pretty bad to drink when you’re pregnant.
Lady #1: Yeah, it’s so expensive, and you’ve gotta save money to buy baby stuff.
Goulbourn Street
Sydney, Australia
Arrogant idiot: You see, the older you get, the more geometrically expensive your health insurance gets.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: my brain is dying
Cube dweller #1: For my wedding the colors were black and white. So I took my bridesmaids to the dress shop and told them to pick out whatever dress they wanted. They all ended up picking the same one.
Cube dweller #2: Well, that's nice.
Cube dweller #1: Of course they picked the most expensive dress, but I didn't have to pay for that part.
Cube dweller #2: And I bet it was a nice bridesmaid dress that they could wear again and again.
Cube dweller #3: Yeah, like to a funeral.
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: eavesdropping cube dweller
Company owner trying to allay fears: We are not a sinking ship! This company is worth $700,000. It's hard to sink a $700,000 ship!
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: BrainFuzz
