Sales manager: Being an alcoholic is much cheaper than being married.
Tanbark Drive
Greentown, Pennsylvania
Sales manager: Being an alcoholic is much cheaper than being married.
Tanbark Drive
Greentown, Pennsylvania
Sales Rep #1: I’m afraid we’re going to lose a lot of customers this season.
Sales Rep #2: Huh. My biggest fear is ending up on Oprah’s couch and having her say mean things to me.
21250 Hawthorne Boulevard
Torrance, California
VP: Did you see the numbers today?
Marketing Manager: No. Is it bad?
VP: No. We’re up.
Marketing Manager: We are?
VP: Yeah. Yesterday we were down 4.31, today we’re up 0.51%. I mean, the goal was 10% so we’re not out of the woods.
Marketing Manager: So it’s like they’ve given us a year to live, not six months?
VP: Something like that.
16430 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Miel Durand
Customer: How much is a sheeet of 100 24-cent stamps?
Clerk: $24.00.
Customer: Okay, I'll take a sheet.
Clerk: I don't have a sheet of 100. Will a roll of 100 be okay?
Customer: I don't know. How much is that?
Clerk: $24.00.
US Post Office
Newton, Kansas
Coworker: I need to order some more super sticky notes. This is how much they cost. Okay to order?
Boss lady: What do we use these for?
Coworker: Labeling crates. We need super sticky notes because regular post-its don't stay.
Boss lady: How much for regular post-its and tape?
Coworker: (silence)
Cincinnati, Ohio
Sad girl, folding t-shirts: And I totally didn't understand why he's like “we need some time apart”. Like, I really thought he was my soulmate. We were the fairytale movie couple, I really loved him… And then he's just like “you call too much. You talk too much. You should stop calling me”.
Uninterested male coworker: Uh, well, you said he paid you for what you called a “one night stand”…
Sad girl: Well, it sounds so bad when you say it like that. Yes, he paid me for that, but I don't know… I felt a connection.
Uninterested male coworker: Yeah, uh… You're a prostitute and he just wanted sex.
Sad girl: Oh, shut up, ass!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Julie
Old hen: My granddaughter wants to ride on a fire truck in the parade, who should I call?
Fire dept. rep: We don't do that anymore, because of the liability.
Old hen: What liability?
Fire dept. rep: Some silly kid will be jumping around all excited and fall off the truck and break their head, and then the parents will sue us for a zillion dollars.
Old hen: Well, not if it was the kid's fault, they wouldn't.
Fire dept. rep: What cartoon planet are you from, exactly?
Oregon
Overheard by: b-mac
New Hire: Is there a limit on the annual tuition reimbursement amount?
Admin: Tuition…That’s for schools, right?
New Hire: Uh, yeah. Is there someone else I should talk to about this?
1301 Dove Street
Newport Beach, California
Supervisor: Are these numbers right?
Employee: Yeah, I double-checked.
Supervisor: The sales manager said that they were under budget!
Employee: Well, numbers don’t lie. Salespeople do.
17777 Center Court Drive
Cerritos, California
