Woman #1: What’s 20 percent off of 90 dollars?
Woman #2: It’ll cost 20 dollars.
Queen Street
Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: just doing my job
Woman #1: What’s 20 percent off of 90 dollars?
Woman #2: It’ll cost 20 dollars.
Queen Street
Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: just doing my job
Coworker on phone: Well, we do have backdoor service, but it's more expensive than our other services.
West Rutland, Vermont
New partner, opening mail: Oh, it's my gold card. Wonder what's the difference between this and a regular Amex.
Smart-ass IT guy: Well, it creates a gravitational anomaly when you whip it out in high-end restaurants, causing all the girls' panties to hit the floor.
New partner: I could have asked a thousand people that question, only you would have given that answer.
Winnipeg
Canadia
Boss: Why would I pay to watch you take a shower?
Underling: Lots of people pay for it.
Boss: How much would you charge me?
Underling: I don't know, I'm Asian, so I can offer other amenities.
Atlanta, Georgia
Judge: You've been charged with violation of section […] of the city code: having an open bottle of alcohol in public. How old are you?
Dirty, shirtless white man: Eighteen.
Judge: Does anyone else live in your household with you?
Dirty, shirtless white man: Yeah, my girlfriend and our two kids.
Judge: How old is your girlfriend?
Dirty, shirtless white man: Thirty-eight.
Judge: Thirty-eight? How long have you two been living together?
Dirty, shirtless white man: About seven years.
Judge: You're 18 and you and this woman have been living together for seven years??
Dirty, shirtless white man: Yeah.
Judge: Can you post $100 bail?
Dirty, shirtless white man: I have no money, judge.
Judge: Uh, well, then just come back on November 26, okay?
(man leaves)
Judge, to law clerk: He's got enough problems.
City Court
Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Intern: I'd tap that.
Boss: What?!
Intern: I mean…I'd like to talk about mutual funds with that.
Boston, Massachusetts
Guy #1: Dude, can you believe breast pumps cost 350 dollars?
Guy #2, walking by: Why the hell are you looking at breast pumps?
Senior partner: There are some things you should really just not say out loud in the office, man. Come on!
Houston, Texas
Coworker #1: Hey, they're stupid, this is already the third time they are sending me the same bill.
Coworker #2: You know what, it's called a “reminder.”
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Bächli
Irate boss on phone: What?! You're holding my order because of a past due invoice for $100? We spend thousands with our vendors! This is ridiculous! $100?! I wipe my ass with $100 bills!
San Carlos, California
Co-worker on phone: Hi [Victor], I was just calling about the new nano covers. They are priced the same and everything but one comes with a little white strap and the other comes with a big black one…So it’s just the customer’s choice whether they want a big black one or a little white one?
432 St. Kilda Road
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Data Monkey
