Leader of conference call: Sorry, please forgive me as I shove something with protein in my mouth…
Coworker, off the call: That's what she said!
Atlanta, Georgia
Leader of conference call: Sorry, please forgive me as I shove something with protein in my mouth…
Coworker, off the call: That's what she said!
Atlanta, Georgia
Supervisor: I need your traveler in the system by 2.
Employee: Okay, I'll get on that after lunch.
Supervisor: Sounds good. (notices ass pressed up against window) And tell Nick his friend isn't allowed to bring him lunch anymore.
Rio Rancho, New Mexico
Boss: There is chocolate over here. Someone brought in chocolate.
Underling: What? What kind? From where?
Boss: It's Perugina, from Italy, my favorite.
Underling: Oh, no thanks. I don't eat anything that ends in -gina.
Baltimore, Maryland
Suit #1: What was that?
Suit #2: What?
Suit #1: You just hid something when I came up.
Suit #2: It was my juice box, because it’s… You know…
Suit #1: What? There’s nothing wrong with drinking juice from a box. I love juice boxes.
Assistant, walking up: What are you guys talking about?
Both suits, in unison: Nothing.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cube Guru
Girl #1, eating lunch: You are what you eat.
Girl #2: Are you calling me a prick?
Boca Raton, Florida
Sales rep on phone: Okay, so that’s V as in ‘voluptuous,’ A as in ‘anatomy,’ N as in ‘nutrition…’
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Office worker: At first I thought it was cheese, but that would be optimistic.
Sixth Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Eyeteeth
Big chick: I walked to McDonald’s today. It’s like the subway diet, only less effective.
McDonald’s
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Overheard by: jared
Paralegal: What color is mozzarella?
Office manager: White, why?
Paralegal: Ummm…I'm going to need an extra bag, I am cleaning the fridge and that bag of mozzarella is like dark brown and green, and I don't mean spots…
Office manager: Uh-uh, here. (hands over bag) I hope it doesn't start moving.
(paralegal laughs and heads toward kitchen)
Paralegal (one minute later): Hey, what color is kiwi suppose to be?
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: joey
Soccer mom: Can I have a medium iced latte? (pause) Wait, how much is a large?
Employee: $2.99.
Soccer mom: And how much is the medium?
Employee: $2.69.
Soccer mom: So which is the better value?
Employee: Huh?
Soccer mom: How many ounces are in the large? How many are in the medium? What's the cost per ounce of each?
Next customer in line: Here's thirty cents, just give her a large.
Soccer mom: I'm not sure if I want a large.
Rest of very long line: Argh!
Dunkin Donuts
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Heavy D
