Proofreader: I have a totally exciting life . . . I think it’s why I eat so much candy.
140 East 45th Street
New York, New York
Proofreader: I have a totally exciting life . . . I think it’s why I eat so much candy.
140 East 45th Street
New York, New York
Composition runner: I spilled milkshake in my pants today.
225 Varick Street
New York, New York
Techie #1: You know what’s better than eating girl scout cookies?
Techie #2: Eating girl scouts?
Techie #1: Um, I was going to say, “eating girl scout cookies with milk”.
Techie #2: Yeah, that’s pretty good too.
Techie #1: You’re a fucking sicko.
1 Wall Street
Madison, Connecticut
Overheard by: ^chi^
Food service worker: What type of soda would you like today?
Female customer: Large.
Food service worker: Yes, mam’m. But what type or flavor did you want?
Female customer: I said large.
Food service worker: Yes, ma’am. Diet Coke? Sprite? Coke? What type?
Female customer: Are you fucking stupid or something? Large. A large soda. How many times do I have to tell you?
San Diego Mall Food Court
San Diego, California
Female coworker at office barbecue: I love dark meat.
Male African American coworker: That's cool, girl.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Alacia
Financial specialist, in front of his pregnant wife/coworker: God, I would nail someone if they had some bacon right now!
Wife/coworker: What the hell is wrong with you?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: God Help Me
Woman on phone: I'm not going to eat before something called “belly-buster night!”
Arlington, Virginia
Cube monkey #1: I’m losing my will to live.
Cube monkey #2: Would a tiny peanut butter cookie help?
Calgary
Canada
Intern on phone: I'm milking this teabag for all it's worth.
Chicago, Illinois
Manager: Yes, he's alive because he ate monkey shit.
Granby Street
Norfolk, Virginia
