I Finally Had to Call Security on That Blue Muppet with the Weird Googly Eyes

Office worker: Okay, who started the cookie rumor? I have 45 people coming to my desk asking me for some cookies that I made!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: maryk

Posted on August 22, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Lies, Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks, Office Politics, Questions

Little Did I Know It Was a Splenda Snickers

Editor (talking about diabetic colleague): So, around five o'clock he walks by and he's holding a candy bar–a Snickers–and I'm like, what is this? Suicide? If he goes into convulsions, I'm just going to gather my stuff and stroll out of here.

Newsroom
Stafford, New Jersey

Overheard by: inothernews

Posted on August 20, 2008
Default, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, New Jersey, Time Management, Weirdness, Writers and Editors

How Pillsbury Motivates Its Commercial Actors

Director, shouting from inside her office: Just eat the damn strudel and shut up!

Moline, Illinois

Overheard by: Dzesika

Posted on August 19, 2008
Default, Executives, Illinois, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests

Makes Me Feel Like I'm Right There at the Battle of Sorbet

Office Einstein: I'm gonna go over to that new Trader Joe's and get me some a that I-talian ice cream cuz I like history.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: steele skillz

Posted on August 7, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Feelings, Geography & History, Meals and Snacks, Pennsylvania

I Told Her She Has to Be at Least 14 Before She Does That

Admin assistant #1 (talking about her daughter's day camp): When I pick her up, I'm going to complain to the camp office. The counselors have these kids eating bugs as a fun, Fear Factor type of activity!
Admin assistant #2: Did your kid eat a bug?
Admin assistant #1: Yeah! Yesterday, she said she ate a butterfly!
Admin assistant #2: A butterfly? That's like eating a baby!

Fairfield, Ohio

Posted on August 7, 2008
Animals, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Family, Meals and Snacks, Ohio, Weirdness

Could You Do It Facing the Webcam This Time?

Anchor, supplying a plastic knife to another: Here, Will. Feel free to slather your banana.

Newsroom
New York City, New York

Posted on August 5, 2008
Default, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests

No One’s Free in This Office, Missy

Peon, walking into boss’s office: What smells so good? It smells like my grandmother’s cooking.
Boss: Oh, Joan* brought pork chop for lunch. I guess she thought I was emancipated.
Peon, laughing and mumbling: She thought what?

Athens, Georgia

Posted on July 28, 2008
Bosses, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Family, Georgia, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Sensory Experiences

…and Made an Improper Suggestion

Phone girl #1: It has smelled like stuff in here all day.
Phone girl #2: I know, it’s like food just walked over here.

New York City, New York

Posted on July 25, 2008
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Meals and Snacks, New York, On the phone, Sensory Experiences

And This Time I Won’t Do It Out of Cruelty

Guy #1: I would do anything for a million dollars.
Guy #2: What about eat your arm?
Guy #1: I would eat any body part. It would grow back.
Girl: No! It won’t!
Guy #1: It might.
Girl: Great! I’ll go down to the missions downtown and tell the Vietnam veterans that they’re going to be walking soon.

Wyoming, Michigan

Posted on July 23, 2008
Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, Meals and Snacks, Michigan, Money, Offers and requests, Questions, Weirdness

I Wasn’t Aware They Needed Food

Mother shouting on cell: How the fuck do I know what he eats? I’m his mother, not his nanny.

New York City Library, New York

Overheard by: Took care of my own children

Posted on July 16, 2008
Default, Education, Family, Family members, Meals and Snacks, New York, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness

Meals and Snacks