Admin on phone with daughter: Sure, you can go to Puerto Rico with the Jones*. (pause) How far is Puerto Rico, anyways? (pause) It's not really that far, right? It's like, part of the US, but it's one of those things–like a stepchild.
Lutherville, Maryland
Curious office worker: How was your poop?
Man who just finished pooping: It was a magnificent log. I could have paddled across the Atlantic on it.
Curious office worker: Just the Atlantic?
Man who just finished pooping: Yeah, I'm out of shape.
Curious office worker: Oh.
Aberdeen, Maryland
Manager, walking past slouching intern: Bad posture ages you.
Intern: It's just I'm not used to this desk thing. Usually I do all my work in bed.
Manager: Don't put that on your resume.
Mt Vernon
Baltimore, Maryland
IT guy #1: How do you get yourself $400,000 in debt?
IT guy #2: Yeah, and if you are that much in debt, why would you kill yourself?
IT guy #1: Yeah, just file for bankruptcy and wait for your Obama dollaz to come in.
Sparks, Maryland
Overheard by: Dial
Grad student #1: Wow, the boss-lady is pretty laid back today. She hasn't even harassed me once since I came in this morning!
Grad student #2: I dunno, dude. When she's this chilled out, I just assume that somewhere there are dozens of puppies that have been kicked.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Office admin #1: The party really didn't begin until the cheese showed up.
Office admin #2: I agree.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: New Here
Dumb coworker: That's where I learned to speak Mexican.
Confused coworker: Huh?
Dumb coworker: When I was ordering a Dos Equis at the bar.
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: perturbed coworker
Girl #1, entering bathroom stall: Sorry, I didn't feel like peeing next to you.
Girl #2, without skipping a beat: Oh, that's okay.
Salisbury, Maryland
Girl: Which one will fit in my port?
IT guy: The plugs are all the same size.
Girl: Oh, so I just push it in? I don't want to just jam it in there and not have anything happen for me.
NIH Campus
Bethesda, Maryland
Maintenance worker, running into hotel lobby: Look at my union suit! It's a two piece! It was a one piece but I cut it in half because it was ridin' my crotch like a motherfucker!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Desk clerk
