Professor: How are you today?
PhD student: I'm not dead.
College Park, Maryland
Professor: How are you today?
PhD student: I'm not dead.
College Park, Maryland
Coworker on conference call: I thought you were on booty call!
Windsor Mill, Maryland
Sales VP to shipping clerk: This is a very important sales proposal for UPS to consider. I want it in their hands first thing tomorrow morning, so be sure to FedEx it right away.
Shipping clerk: Okaaaaay…
Baltimore, Maryland
Female coworker: Here. Put it in here.
Male coworker: It doesn't fit right.
Female coworker: Seriously? I think it was made for this.
Male coworker: No, really, it just doesn't feel right. I'll have to find another way.
Female coworker: Dude! Just stick it in and we'll sort it out later!
Baltimore, Maryland
Product manager: Please, like I haven't been looking at pelvises all week.
Baltimore, Maryland
Woman in office to client that is leaving: Just so you know, I just poured some tuna fish water in the toilet, but I didn't use it. You know, just in case you were thinking… You know…
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Mickey
Male administrative assistant on phone: It's great that I am eccentric, it means I can be deviant most of the time.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: watching the clock
IT guy #1: Hey, Ted*, I'm gonna start fixing some of these problems in your box.
IT guy #2: You know, I've been doing pretty well getting through them. With that new tool.
IT guy #3: Yeah, that new tool is great! It lets me plow through those new hires quicker than before! I don't know how it works, but they go. Crazy for it!
Sparks, Maryland
Overheard by: Hello, Operator…
Loan officer #1: Wouldn't a 55-and-over development have lower market value because your applicant pool is so small?
Loan officer #2: No way, there's a ton of old people.
Eastern Shore, Maryland
Female office worker to pregnant coworker: His mother said we should wait until we're older to have kids, but she's old. She's 40. I told her that we're 23 and 24. We're of child-bearing age. We're supposed to be having children.
Fleet Street
Baltimore, Maryland
