Man: Was this in DC?
Woman: No! It was in Maryland, where I live! Right behind my condo building! I was so upset!
Man: Huh.
Woman: If I had a gun, I tell you what: I would have shot him as he was running away. I was so upset. The little bitch would have been dead. [She exits the elevator] Have a blessed day!
5600 Fishers Lane
Rockville, Maryland
Professor: We need this paper to be huge! I want people to fear us when we go to meetings… We need to be like male elephants!
Grad student #1: You want me to grow tusks?
Grad student #2: You want me to grow big ears?
Professor: No! We need to pee all over everything!
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Coworker on phone: Some people are just turned off by her personality. She was on the phone with Cheryl* the other day talking about how they rubbed chloroform all over her body.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Sales rep to another: You know me–anal boy!
Baltimore, Maryland
Sales rep to HR: I'm sick of people floory-ing me!
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: I'm not sick of it
Male attorney to another: We're not going to circulate this externally, not yet. If we want to do that internally, that's fine–that can be just between us girls.
Bethesda, Maryland
Security guy: Um, can I help you?
Admin guy: No, I’m fine. I work here.
Security guy: Well, do you recognize me?
Admin guy: Um, yeah. I see you every day.
Security guy: I’ve never seen you before. Do I look different?
Admin guy: No.
Security guy: I’m older than when you last saw me.
606 St. Paul Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: lexbean
Coworker #1: Do you want this document spf-ed?
Coworker #2: Do mean pdf-ed?
Coworker #1: Yeah, why, what did I say?
Coworker #2: Sfp.
Ellicott City, Maryland
Lady accountant: I'm getting fat!
French accountant: Fat?! What are you talking about?! I could eat you and no one would notice! (awkward silence) Actually, pretend I didn't say that.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Not an Accountant
Man, coming into office: Do you have superglue in your drawers?
Baltimore, Maryland
