System manager: Anyone who touches my calculator limps all day!
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
System manager: Anyone who touches my calculator limps all day!
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Grunt #1: Hey, Stan*! How are you, man?
Grunt #2: Well, my liver hurts.
Baltimore, Maryland
Female marketing executive to male sales executive: Well, you can just suck my imaginary dick!
Research Boulevard
Rockville, Maryland
Lawyer, about purchasing domain name: Why don't you go through that website. What's it called? Who's your daddy dot com or something?
CEO: I think that's a different kind of website, Brett.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Receptionist
Supervisor on phone: Yeah, it usually takes about, I don’t know, three or four days to get the good whores, and then…
Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Salesman #1: So, you put your hand in?
Salesman #2: Yeah, well, I tried. At first I could only get my fingers in there, and there’s water and this black shit drippin’ out.
Salesman #1: Gross… Totally gross.
Salesman #2: It was… And she’s yelling at me that I’m doing it wrong, but I’m just trying to work my whole hand in there and she won’t shut up!
Neighboring cube rat: Keep your gross-ass sex stories to yo’self!
Salesman #2: I was working on the clogged plumbing at my mother’s house!
Equitable building
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Drue K.
Man: Was this in DC?
Woman: No! It was in Maryland, where I live! Right behind my condo building! I was so upset!
Man: Huh.
Woman: If I had a gun, I tell you what: I would have shot him as he was running away. I was so upset. The little bitch would have been dead. [She exits the elevator] Have a blessed day!
5600 Fishers Lane
Rockville, Maryland
Professor: We need this paper to be huge! I want people to fear us when we go to meetings… We need to be like male elephants!
Grad student #1: You want me to grow tusks?
Grad student #2: You want me to grow big ears?
Professor: No! We need to pee all over everything!
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Coworker on phone: Some people are just turned off by her personality. She was on the phone with Cheryl* the other day talking about how they rubbed chloroform all over her body.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
