Hospital worker #1: Oh my God! Did you see those warts?
Hospital worker #2: No, I missed them.
Hospital worker #1: How could you miss them? Weren’t you holding the labia?
Hospital worker #2: No, that wasn’t me.
Hospital worker #1: Are you sure? I thought that was you.
Hospital Worker #2: No, I wasn’t holding any labia today.
100 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Employee: Hi! Can I help you?
Woman: Can I have a six-inch BLT on Italian?
Employee: I’m sorry, we’re out of Italian.
Woman: Can I just have white bread?
Employee: That’s the same as Italian.
Woman: Do you have plain bread?
13600 Solomons Island Road
Solomons, Maryland
Overheard by: I hate Jared.
Author: I don’t know. Some of the edits don’t really work for me. What do you think?
Editor: Well, speaking as a completely biased party, I think it’s great.
Author: … You’re sure?
Editor: Absolutely, you bonehead. Can we put it to print now, or are you going to keep your thumb up your ass a while longer?
Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
System manager: Anyone who touches my calculator limps all day!
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Grunt #1: Hey, Stan*! How are you, man?
Grunt #2: Well, my liver hurts.
Baltimore, Maryland
Female marketing executive to male sales executive: Well, you can just suck my imaginary dick!
Research Boulevard
Rockville, Maryland
Lawyer, about purchasing domain name: Why don't you go through that website. What's it called? Who's your daddy dot com or something?
CEO: I think that's a different kind of website, Brett.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Receptionist
Supervisor on phone: Yeah, it usually takes about, I don’t know, three or four days to get the good whores, and then…
Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Salesman #1: So, you put your hand in?
Salesman #2: Yeah, well, I tried. At first I could only get my fingers in there, and there’s water and this black shit drippin’ out.
Salesman #1: Gross… Totally gross.
Salesman #2: It was… And she’s yelling at me that I’m doing it wrong, but I’m just trying to work my whole hand in there and she won’t shut up!
Neighboring cube rat: Keep your gross-ass sex stories to yo’self!
Salesman #2: I was working on the clogged plumbing at my mother’s house!
Equitable building
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Drue K.
