Oh No, My PayPal Account Is Empty! How Will I Pay This Strapping Young IT Guy?

Tech guy: I need to update your microscope software, have you seen the dongle?
Grad student: Um… Excuse me?
Tech guy: I need to plug the dongle in to get access to your machine.
Grad student: Uh… What would… That… Look like?
Tech guy: Oh wait, never mind, I see it. Thanks!
[Tech guy leaves.]Grad student, to undergrad nearby: What the hell was he talking about?
Undergrad: I don’t know, but I feel like we were about ten seconds away from being in a very nerdy porno.

North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Posted on March 23, 2018
Default, Education, Feelings, Maryland, Offers and requests, Questions, Sexuality, Students, Tech People, Technology, Words

I’m Going to Give Him One More Chance…

Chick #1: He didn’t even give me flowers today.
Chick #2: I can’t believe that.
Chick #1: I know. I mean, if you fuck a girl and knock her up, you give her flowers on Valentine’s Day, miscarriage or not.
Chick #2: For real.

McCormick Road
Hunt Valley, Maryland

Overheard by: Jenna

Posted on December 1, 2017
Friends, Gossip, Maryland

If Our Customers Won’t Behave, We Fire Them

VP on phone with angry customer: Well, I’m sorry that nobody has been here to take your calls or return your messages yet. We’ve been busy in the office lately… Yes, I understand it’s frustrating, but we’re doing all we can… Okay, look Larry*, look — the reason nobody’s here whenever you call is because we just got caller ID last week, and everybody ignores you because nobody wants to deal with you because you’re an asshole… Yeah, I heard you were a real piece of work to our receptionist… You’re an asshole! Yeah? Well, I don’t care if we have your business anymore. Asshole!

Beltsville, Maryland

Overheard by: The abused receptionist

Posted on November 19, 2017
Customer Service, Executives, Insults, Maryland

The Court Limited Mom to an Inflatable Car

Girl #1: Hey, when is that festival?
Girl #2: I think it’s sometime in the beginning of May?
Girl #1: We should totally go.
Girl #2: Yes… It will be fun, we can run over pedestrians like your mom did that one time.
Girl #1: Oh yeah! I forgot about that…
Girl #2: Haha, she just kept driving.

Greene Turtle, Main Street
Bel Air, Maryland

Overheard by: GlynnisO