Very country legal assistant to hearing office rep: Well… That Irene Davis and I have been commuting.
Hearing office rep: What?
Very country legal assistant: Commuting… Ya know, talking.
Law Firm
Lower Alabama
Overheard by: How embarassing for the rest of us
Speakerphone: …but then they said my trial was rescheduled for December 3rd, and then the other day I got a notice that said it was for December 1st and I just wanted to tell [Leslie] that they’re changing it.
Secretary: Um, okay, sorry, but the 3rd of December is a Saturday. Speakerphone: I’m not going to argue with you! I’m just telling you what they said!
Secretary: Um, ok.
3 South Pinckney Street
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: temp drone
Judge, on the bench: This is not a court of justice! This is a court of law!
Elyria, Ohio
Lawyer: So are you sleeping with my wife or what?
Client: [Rob], you’re hilarious.
Lawyer: ‘Cause you know, you can get her pregnant. I don’t even care.
11755 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Defense attorney: I’m going back to the office. God, I hate days like this. Losing blows.
Defendant: Hey, sorry, man. But, really, you didn’t have a chance.
300 East Bay Street
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Jess
Paralegal to friendly lawyer: I’m sorry, I can’t shake your hand.
Lawyer: What’s your problem? We just saved the firm hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Paralegal: It has nothing to do with that… I’d help to bankrupt an orphanage if it came to it.
Lawyer: Then why won’t you shake my hand?
Paralegal: Sir, I was in the bathroom when you took a shit after the meeting, and you didn’t wash your hands. That’s just disgusting.
725 12th Street NW
Washington, DC
Lawyer: Did you hear about Vanessa*?
Secretary: No. What about her?
Lawyer: Yeah, poor Vanessa. She woke up dead on July 4th.
Broad Street
Louisville, Georgia
Lawyer on phone: Homeless strippers?… Dude, you don’t want to hook up with a homeless stripper.
Empire State Building
New York, New York
Overheard by: temporary paralegal
Bailiff: Okay, I think we need a Jewish interpreter over here! What did you say? Hay broo? Okay, whatever.
141 Livingston Street
Brooklyn, New York
Attorney on conference call: Your honor, opposing counsel is beating a dead whore!
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Glad she's not a dead whore
