Lawyer on phone: Homeless strippers?… Dude, you don’t want to hook up with a homeless stripper.
Empire State Building
New York, New York
Overheard by: temporary paralegal
Lawyer on phone: Homeless strippers?… Dude, you don’t want to hook up with a homeless stripper.
Empire State Building
New York, New York
Overheard by: temporary paralegal
Bailiff: Okay, I think we need a Jewish interpreter over here! What did you say? Hay broo? Okay, whatever.
141 Livingston Street
Brooklyn, New York
Attorney on conference call: Your honor, opposing counsel is beating a dead whore!
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Glad she's not a dead whore
Court officer speaking to almost-admitted attorneys awaiting ceremony: And when you stand, don’t lock your knees or stand up straight, just relax and kind of hunch over, we don’t want anyone to collapse — it has happened before, and it is like attorney dominoes…
45 Monroe Place
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Lans
Male attorney #1: So it's been heavy these days?
Male attorney #2: Yeah, I can't wait for this period to be over.
(females nearby snigger to each other)
Manhattan, New York
Lawyer: Did you know there was a gun in the house?
Defendant: No.
Lawyer: Did you hold the gun at any point?
Defendant: No.
Lawyer: Did you threaten anyone with the gun?
Defendant: I don’t remember.
Courthouse
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: not a juror
Secretary: I thought he was retarded, then I realized he was just very, very Australian.
Montgomery County Courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Tech: …and if it gives you any problems, just call me. Any time, doesn’t matter. I sleep with my cell phone.
Lawyer: I’ve slept with worse.
11377 West Olympic Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Eve Z. Dropper
Attorney reading medical report: Sue*, is this right?
Sue, the paralegal: Yup. Sure is.
Attorney: But… Why does it say ‘Christina*’ on this set of reports, and ‘Christopher’ on this set?
Sue, patting attorney on back: Read it all the way through, you’ll get it.
Attorney, from rear office five minutes later: Oh, lord… He’s… I mean, she’s… I mean… Sue? Can you come in here, please?
Sue, yelling across the office: Did you see the pictures yet?
Attorney: What?! There are pictures?! Where…? Oh, my good god! Sue!
Law office, Broadway
New York, New York
Attorney: Do you have an extra pen I can have?
Receptionist: Sure.
Attorney (writing with pen): Actually, I'm kind of suspicious of this pen. I'll just go get one of my own.
Hall of Justice Building
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Liz
