Secretary: I’ve been meaning to ask you a question.
Lawyer: Sure, what’s up?
Secretary: So you’re Indian, right? I’m going to an Indian funeral today. And I’m not sure how to act.
Lawyer: Well…you’re not supposed to laugh.
Secretary: But they’re so Indian that they’re going to have her cremated.
Lawyer: That doesn’t mean you can laugh. Also wear all white.
1425 K Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: callmeahab
Lawyer on phone: …No…No….They can’t take your kids away for smokin’ pot, that’s bullshit…Ha, ha, ha!
500 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Very country legal assistant to hearing office rep: Well… That Irene Davis and I have been commuting.
Hearing office rep: What?
Very country legal assistant: Commuting… Ya know, talking.
Law Firm
Lower Alabama
Overheard by: How embarassing for the rest of us
Lawyer: If he was downstairs in the Girl Scout’s uniform, that would’ve been even better.
43rd Street and Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Paralegal: What color is mozzarella?
Office manager: White, why?
Paralegal: Ummm…I'm going to need an extra bag, I am cleaning the fridge and that bag of mozzarella is like dark brown and green, and I don't mean spots…
Office manager: Uh-uh, here. (hands over bag) I hope it doesn't start moving.
(paralegal laughs and heads toward kitchen)
Paralegal (one minute later): Hey, what color is kiwi suppose to be?
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: joey
Judge, on the bench: This is not a court of justice! This is a court of law!
Elyria, Ohio
Lawyer: So are you sleeping with my wife or what?
Client: [Rob], you’re hilarious.
Lawyer: ‘Cause you know, you can get her pregnant. I don’t even care.
11755 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Attorney: A partner just caught me licking yogurt off my sweater.
Clerk: You’re definitely getting another raise.
Attorney: It was right on the boob.
Clerk: Wow, a raise and a bonus. You’re a real go-getter.
717 Madison Place NW
Washington, DC
Defense attorney: I’m going back to the office. God, I hate days like this. Losing blows.
Defendant: Hey, sorry, man. But, really, you didn’t have a chance.
300 East Bay Street
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Jess
Judge: Son, there is a reason most murders take place between 10 pm and 4 am. If you do not want to *get* murdered, do not find yourself out at those times.
Detroit, Michigan
