File clerk: So do the Summer Olympics happen every… eight years?
Law clerk: Um, four years.
File clerk: I'm taking this quiz. Is Canada in South America?
Law clerk: North America.
Law Office
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Perplexed
File clerk: So do the Summer Olympics happen every… eight years?
Law clerk: Um, four years.
File clerk: I'm taking this quiz. Is Canada in South America?
Law clerk: North America.
Law Office
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Perplexed
Lawyer: Oh, he’s a philanderer?
Legal assistant: No, he works at a paint store.
14340 57th Avenue
Surrey, British Columbia, Canada
Defense attorney: Good morning prospective ladies and gentlemen — I mean, jurors.
125 East 8th Avenue
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: the unchosen
Attorney #1: The governor suggested that everyone not evacuating write their social security number on their arm in indelible ink. I’m going to go through our database and tattoo the SSN of our richest client on my chest with my children as beneficiaries.
Attorney #2: You better get that tattoo on your ass because you’re going to be floating face down in the floodwater.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Attorney on phone with secretary: Hello. (pause) A package? Who's it from? He brought it by hand? Can you open it for me? Just want to make sure it isn't a bomb. (pause) What? No, not like that, I mean a legal bomb. Like detrimental paperwork.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Office Manager
Attorney: Is this the drawer that’s broken?
Co-worker: Yes. I’ve already told you how to fix it. I mean, it’s not as serious as cancer.
Attorney: Thank you for that assessment.
1999 Harrison Street
Oakland, California
Legal counsel: I normally just crack it when I'm expecting someone.
Madison, Wisconsin
Attorney’s wife: I’m getting so fat.
Attorney: You’re not fat.
Attorney’s wife: Aw, well…
Attorney interrupts: You’re old. You just look fat.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Lawyer on phone to client: They're fuckin' you, Dave*. It's a new way of fucking, but they're fucking you.
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
