Young attorney #1: I look like an old woman in this coat.
Young attorney #2: Maybe a slutty old woman.
Young attorney #1: I wish I was a slutty old woman.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Young attorney #1: I look like an old woman in this coat.
Young attorney #2: Maybe a slutty old woman.
Young attorney #1: I wish I was a slutty old woman.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Attorney: Okay, lay down on your desk.
Paralegal: Okay, but don’t look at my butt.
Attorney, after long pause: Wow, you have an amazing pain tolerance!
Burien, Washington
Overheard by: third wheel
Attorney: My head hurts, my mouth tastes like crap, I haven’t shaved in four days and my suit is wrinkled. I think I’m hung over.
Secretary: Well, what do you have to do today?
Attorney: DUI hearing to try and get [Leonard] off the hook.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Lawyer to client: I have a concealed handgun license. I used to carry my gun with me all the time, but then I found out it's illegal to carry a weapon and be intoxicated.
Guadalupe Street
Austin, Texas
Attorney: Wait until I get into my fecal matter/colon thing.
New York City, New York
Secretary: Oh wow, these are good.
Attorney: What are you eating?
Secretary: They are meatless meatballs.
Attorney: So essentially, you’re just eating balls.
1050 Thomas Jefferson Street NW
Washington, DC
Attorney on phone: Well, I’m really sorry you’re going to jail. But you still need to pay our bill.
110 North Washington Street
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Odd
Partner: Fuck that!…Fuck you! I am not cheap! I want what’s rightfully my client’s!
200 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: GJG
Lawyer #1: I now ask that this binder be admitted into evidence.
Lawyer #2: We would object to that, Your Honor.
Judge: What is your basis for introducing this into evidence?
Lawyer #1: The “moving things along faster” basis.
Judge: Denied.
500 Pearl Street
New York, NY
