Customer: How much is a sheeet of 100 24-cent stamps?
Clerk: $24.00.
Customer: Okay, I'll take a sheet.
Clerk: I don't have a sheet of 100. Will a roll of 100 be okay?
Customer: I don't know. How much is that?
Clerk: $24.00.
US Post Office
Newton, Kansas
Woman: I hate working here. It makes me want to throw my morals out the window, and become a slut.
Co-worker: A slut…There’s an image for you.
Woman: I don’t mean I want to be a slut. I just want to know what all these people are like in bed. No one small, of course.
Co-worker: So you’ll be handing out a questionnaire?
56 59 Junction
Baldwin City, Kansas
CSR: Where the fuck are my pants?
102 W. Washington
Colby, Kansas
Cube dweller #1: Oh, and I love it when my husband takes his shirt off at night, because then I can pop his back pimples. He hates it when I do that, but I just love it!
Cube dweller #2 and recent hire: [Horrified silence.]Cube dweller #1: Yeah, and last night I was real disappointed, because I was working on a blackhead and it turned out to be a mole.
Cube dweller #3: [Flees cube.]
Medical center
Pittsburg, Kansas
Professor #1, referring to box on front desk: What is that?
Assistant: Tetramethylammonium hydroxide.
Professor #1: What?
Professor #2: It's just a bomb.
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Listening for Ticking
Company owner: I don’t shove anything up my ass unless it costs at least 50 dollars.
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Executive secretary: Well, we might be a scent-free workplace, but we are certainly not a stink-free workplace.
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: Denise
Employee written up for gossiping: I wasn’t gossiping! I was just repeating something that someone else had told me!
Kansas
Topeka City Council Member: I thought we just voted that down unanimously, with the exception of one or two votes.
Capitol grounds
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: wscnsngl
Sales guy: That makes about as much sense as a shy stripper.
Bonner Springs, Kansas
