Cube dweller #1: Oh, and I love it when my husband takes his shirt off at night, because then I can pop his back pimples. He hates it when I do that, but I just love it!
Cube dweller #2 and recent hire: [Horrified silence.]Cube dweller #1: Yeah, and last night I was real disappointed, because I was working on a blackhead and it turned out to be a mole.
Cube dweller #3: [Flees cube.]
Medical center
Pittsburg, Kansas
Professor #1, referring to box on front desk: What is that?
Assistant: Tetramethylammonium hydroxide.
Professor #1: What?
Professor #2: It's just a bomb.
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Listening for Ticking
Company owner: I don’t shove anything up my ass unless it costs at least 50 dollars.
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Executive secretary: Well, we might be a scent-free workplace, but we are certainly not a stink-free workplace.
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: Denise
Employee written up for gossiping: I wasn’t gossiping! I was just repeating something that someone else had told me!
Kansas
Topeka City Council Member: I thought we just voted that down unanimously, with the exception of one or two votes.
Capitol grounds
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: wscnsngl
Sales guy: That makes about as much sense as a shy stripper.
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Office worker, about project manager's shaved head: You look like a penis.
Project manager: You're a vagina.
Office worker: Fine China!
Parsons, Kansas
Sales guy #1: … or you know it could send to your POP3.
Sales guy #2: Don’t pretend like you know what you’re talking about.
Sales guy #1: At least I had a term. Where’s your term, motherfucker?!
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Assistant: I'm going to Starbucks; can I get you anything?
IT tech: What's Starbucks?
Lawrence, Kansas
Overheard by: a girl who HASN'T been living under a rock
