Male bank president: My daughter’s gonna letter in high school track this year.
Female vice president: Oh?
Male bank president: Yeah, she’s a runner. All year I’ve been taking her out on country roads to let her spread her legs.
Female vice president, under her breath: Putz!
1105 Vargas Street
Atwood, Kansas
College professor: I feel like giving them an “e” for effort. Of course we all know that an “e” is right above an “f” for “fucking stupid” and right below the “d” for “dang near fucking stupid.”
Emporia, Kansas
Co-worker: He’s either “dead” or “passed away.”
9111 East Douglas Avenue
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Nate
Receptionist: You can do that while you’re sleeping?!
Accounting girl: Well, yeah.
Receptionist: … Does it feel good?
Accounting girl: [Shrugs.]
Hutchinson, Kansas
Overheard by: The Temp
Woman in bathroom stall to woman in neighboring stall: Yeah, she the one who did my son's circumcision. She did a bang up job.
Olathe, Kansas
Cube monkey, eating alone at desk and coughing: Quit trying to eat yourself!
Overland Park, Kansas
HR rep to coworker: I could, like, totally get a raise if I slept with him.
Coworker: Haven't you already?
Leavenworth, Kansas
Physician: What can you tell me about this X-ray?
Student: It’s a male pelvis with two fractures.
Physician: It’s shaped like a male pelvis, but it’s not.
Student: How can you tell?
Physician: The lack of a penis outline on the X-ray helps.
Emergency Room, University of Kansas Hospital
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: Stifling the Laugh
Male office worker: Come on! Smell my neck, my cologne is amazing!
Female office worker: I can't. My nose is stuffed and I can't smell anything.
Male office worker: That's no problem. I'll still be able to penetrate!
Topeka, Kansas
Boss on phone walking around office: Look, what you’re needing is something more powerful. You should try Viagra.
Overland Park, Kansas
